Third Watch
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Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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Mama...Just killed a man...

Alex and Doc are unloading the bus. She says Jimmy and Brooke told her they had a great time honeymooning in the Virgin Islands. "Ironic place for them to honeymoon, don't you think?" she asks. She's the one who was trying to keep Jimmy's infidelity a secret before, now she's talking about it like it was on NPR's All Things Considered. "Virgin Islands?" she tries again. "I get it," Doc mutters. They come over to help some kids who were holding on behind a car while on their skateboards, Michael J. Fox-style. Ty is there to tell them it's called "skitching," but he refers to it as very stupid. A boy on the ground is moaning as people are gathered around trying to lift a car under which he's pinned. Doc helps the guy as we get all kinds of angles of the agony. They pull out the boy and his leg looks bad. "What the hell were you thinking?" Alex yells, because the pain isn't bad enough. Sully is around to offer his wisdom. He says the boy is fifteen: he wasn't thinking.

At Ye Olde Thirde Watche Pub and Grille, the cops are sharing stories of stupid things they did as teens. Bosco shares his story of playing chicken with the trains. "Congratulations Bosco," Yokas says, "You overcame your instinct for survival by the sheer force of your stupidity." Tee hee. Bobby says he climbed the suspension cables on the Brooklyn Bridge. Ty used to elevator surf. Yokas is scared, saying she's afraid of her kids growing up and doing stupid stuff like that. Kim says her kid already does he. He jumped off the fridge and needs four stitches. It's called negligence, Kim. I can find you a dictionary to look it up. Sully gets asked if he did anything crazy as a young Sully. Sully doesn't want to share. Doc gets asked and Kim makes fun of him for being such a saint. Doc gets up and makes a snarky comment about the Peace Corps and lepers and whatnot and asks for a tuna sandwich. If you're going to be all dramatic, it doesn't help to put a tuna sandwich order at the end of it, Doc.

Doc in the bathroom. Oh, great. He's going all somber. He looks at himself in the mirror and looks positively haunted. Haley Joel Osment comes out of a stall and tells Doc to lighten up.

The last thing in the world I ever wanted to see: Carlos gets out of bed with no shirt on. Jiminy Christmas! He was in bed with the student he'd formerly dissed. You are a real piece of work, Carlos. And by "work" I mean "crappy minimum-wage job." Carlos quietly gets up in the near-dark and starts looking through the girl's book bag for her homework. He's certainly Grinchy. Doc tries to put on his pants while holding the assignment in his teeth. We almost get a terrifying crotch shot, but then it's Carlos looking in the mirror and suddenly filling up with self-disgust. Why would he need that when we can all be disgusted enough for him? Carlos looks down at the assignment and breathes heavily. After this, commercials are a blessing.

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Third Watch

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