Third Watch

Episode Report Card
Nicole: C+ | Grade It Now!

Consistency be damned! Carlos is driving the bus after all, and Doc is giving advice on how to drive in traffic when it's an emergency. A car comes out from a side street, and Carlos hits it and it goes careening over a lower-level parking lot and slides over a bunch of cars and flips over. They run over to the car, and the person driving is a pregnant woman. D'oh! Sucks to be Carlos!

Apparently, Crest MultiCare toothpaste glows in the dark. Freaky.

Bobby and Kim are in the bus, and they stop at a pool hall. Bobby tells Kim that he forgot something and goes inside. I think he forgot how to make up a good lie. Bobby finds his brother's friends (and we finally find out his brother's name: Matt) and he tells them that Matt is coming home. One of the guys, a greasy little guy, asks Bobby if he is warning the farmers to keep an eye on their sheep, and then does a wannabe-sheep sound. Um, greasy guy, men in prison don't go after sheep, they go after greasy little guys like you, so maybe you should learn how to squeal like a pig instead. Bobby tells them to stay away from Matt, and the guys can't believe Bobby would make such a request. Kim comes in and tells Bobby about Carlos, and they have to go take care of the guy with the chest pains. The greasy guy asks Bobby if Kim is his "new piece of ass." Bobby yells, "I wish!" No, not really, but you know he was thinking it. Kim is all annoyed and says in her best DeNiro-in-Taxi Driver impersonation, "What'd you say?" Bobby tells her to ignore Greasy Guy, and as they leave, Greasy Guy lets out another wannabe-sheep sound. Whatever.

The fire department is using the Jaws of Life to open the door of the pregnant woman's car. The woman is asking if her baby will be okay; she is only 22 weeks along and is having contractions. They finally get her out of the car, and as they put her in the ambulance, she tells them that her husband is in Miami, and she keeps asking if she will lose her baby.

Kim and Bobby down in the subway, where they find an old man sitting against the wall. They identify themselves, and he tells them everyone calls him Bobo. Yeah, sure, old man. Kim asks him what happened, and he says he was taking Viagra. They give him a surprised look, and Bobo tells Bobby that he gets around, because when you get to be his age, you "start racking up the numbers." I'm not liking where this is going. I don't want to know about old men getting it on with numerous women; just picturing it gives me the heebie-jeebies. So Bobo goes on to tell them that he had a date, so he decided to "double up on the blue bombers." Ugh. He then proceeds to tell Kim that he was like "the Empire State Building, Eiffel Tower, the Space Needle all wrapped into one." As Kim looks as disgusted as I feel, he keeps going: "I'm talking vertical!" Thank you, writers, for making me envision an old man named Bobo with a raging erection. Pardon me while I heave up the glass of wine I just drank. Bobo tells Bobby that the woman he was with wanted to get on top. Apparently, this disgusted Bobo so much that he ran out of the woman's apartment and ran for the train, which is when he got the chest pains. Whatever, freak. The only thing Bobby can say is, "You mean to tell me men used to get to be on top?" Oh, please, Bobby! Like you don't love every minute a woman is riding you. Don't complain -- it's less work for you.

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Third Watch




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