Hey, I liked American Beauty too, but how snotty is it to call the DVD "The Awards Edition?" That's like calling this week's West Wing "Emmy Fest 2000."

On the ride back, Jimmy is holding his stomach. Someone asks if he wants to play some b-ball. He's injured! Can't anybody see that? Jimmy says he'll take a shower, and Lombardo says he's rank. Lombardo asks Alex if she plays. She says, "No, thanks." He says, "You never know with that WNBA and stuff." How did this guy get to be a firefighter? He should have a Ph.D. in English Lit! They get another call in mid-drive, and the driver says he's going to have to turn around.

At another scene, Bosco is yelling as a woman yells back at him. Bosco is mad that they called in a fake shooting. They're mad because drug dealers are dealing drugs to kids on their front stoop and if they don't call in a murder, the police won't come. Ty and Sully are on hand and look embarrassed to be there. Bosco continues to yell as an ambulance and the fire truck pull up. As the police walk off, Sully says he doesn't understand why these people want the police to round up drug dealers. I mean, it's not like it's a crime or anything. Oh, wait, it is. Jimmy says he doesn't blame them. Sully retorts, saying that it's what he'd expect firefighters who sit around watching Ricki Lake all day to say. "Better than sittin' around thinkin' up tired jokes about firemen," Alex retorts, and it goes down as the lamest, most ill-conceived comeback in put-down history. She doesn't even deliver it right -- it breaks in mid-stream. Ty asks who she is. She says that judging from the clothes, she's a firefighter. Sully says that she's supposed to have a Barcalounger attached to her ass. "Where is it?" he asks. It's sad when Sully is schoolin' you in the insult department. Everybody laughs. "Whose side are you guys on?" Alex asks, signaling desperation. "Uh, that'd be the one with the better jokes," Carlos answers. Amen. Lt. Johnson breaks up the "snaps" competition, and as they're leaving, Faith Yokas introduces herself to Alex. All of a sudden, Alex is all friendship bracelets and ginger snaps. "It's amazing," Yokas says, "they get dumber when they're in packs." Each walks off and Alex all of a sudden has a friend.