Third Watch
Jimmy's Mountain

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Jimmy's Mountain

Jimmy got his own episode? Jimmy the firefighter? Seriously? (Sigh...) Fine. Great. I'm there.

First Johnnie Cochran charges me $26,342 for the hour he spent at my duplex last week explaining Doc's episode, now this. You know, I hear the Almighty has a great sense of humor, but God: I don't get it. You're gonna have to explain this joke to me, because I hear the setup, but there's no punchline.

The episode begins with previouslys of Jimmy getting shot at the end of last season. As you'll remember, Jimmy was shot during a fire by a disgruntled former fireman, and has been on the road to recovery ever since. And that paragon of morals, Kim, has been using his convalescence as an opportunity to get her mack on even as he is about to marry another woman. Nice, Kim. Can't wait to see what kind of trouble you stir up in your personalized episode.

"Jimmy's Mountain" (or as I will call it, "Jimmy's Phallocentric Excuse for a Life") begins with Jimmy explaining in a voice-over (if it's the beginning of a second-season episode, it must be a voice-over) saying that the most difficult thing to do in sports is to hit a major-league fastball. Hey, I could do that. All I'd need is a bat and a machine to slow down time by about nine-tenths. ["And isn't it the curveball that separates the wheat from the chaff?" -- Sars] Jimmy is then shown in slow motion swinging at a fastball. It's 1993, Yankee tryouts. Every spring, he says, they let people come out and take three swings, to see if they're good enough to move on to fielding for a shot at the big leagues. Jimmy, who has always been nothing if not cocky, had it all figured out. He'd play in the minors, move up to the big leagues, and do product endorsements for Nike. Yeah, if "Just Do It" means "Just Sleep With Your Ex-Wife." As he's swinging, we go to flashbacks of Jimmy as a fireman. That, he says, was his backup plan. Against his will, he says, he learned to love the job. He's good at it, he says. We move on to clips of Jimmy being taken to the hospital with a gunshot wound as Kim tags along. Even then, she's turned on, I'm sure. We then get gratuitous beefcake footage of Jimmy in skimpy shorts and a muscle shirt, working through physical therapy. Sweat, muscles, more sweat, a nasty scar on the leg. Jimmy remembers how much he fit in, and then how getting shot screwed it all up.

The montage finally ends, and it's just Jimmy and Brooke in the car, and Jimmy's saying he's nervous to be going back to the station. Brooke says he doesn't have to come back to work early. She also hints that he should check out brochures for the inn they're booking for their June wedding. Jimmy doesn't even pretend to be interested. She looks awfully haggard here. The summer was not kind to Brooke. Jimmy says his goodbyes, and she watches him leave. Her eyes are adoring. Jimmy starts walking to the station and flashes back to the Yankees batting tryouts. He says he wishes they'd given him one more swing. Don't we all. Jimmy continues to walk toward the station in slow motion, smirking his little naughty-boy smirk. We go to the opening credits.

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