[On the radio]
Okay, we're back, listeners. Thanks for being patient during the commercial break. We're back with a caller from New York. Kim, are you there?
Yeah. I'm here, Dr. Laura.
What can I do for you, Kim?
Well, it's my ex-husband. We just keep sleeping together and I think it may be adversely affecting my son. He probably thinks we're going to get back together when in fact, my ex-husband is planning his wedding with another woman. Oh, and I slept with my work partner and now there's all kinds of weird sexual tension.
I see. And why do you keep sleeping with your ex-husband if he's engaged to someone else?
I dunno. I think we're made for each other.
I think you're an idiot. Are you a lesbian by any chance, Kim?
No, I don't see what that --
Okay then, don't worry. You'll be fine. Next caller?
Previously on Third Watch: Kim and Jimmy divorced because he slept with Kim's sister. Kim can't keep her hands off sexy Jimmy. Jimmy gets shot, and Kim is there to comfort and, yes, sleep with Jimmy. So, to recap: while every other character who has had their own episode this season gets to wrestle with inner demons, explore their lot in life, and explore what it is they do in life, Kim's entire existence in these previouslys is defined by her desire for Jimmy. Way to lose two of a character's three supposed dimensions.
The episode starts with Kim's voice-over as home movie footage of a wedding rolls. A little girl keeps popping up, and the woman in the video is marrying what looks like a young, shaggy Bill Paxton. In her voice-over, Kim talks about how if you own a lot of something, you're a collector. That's why she owns sixteen vintage leather jackets: she can't throw anything away. Metaphor alert: she can't throw Jimmy away. But wait, he's the one getting married again. I don't think he's the trash here. Kim goes on about how she hates to throw things out and it's hard to figure out what's worth keeping. Except the closed-captioning dialogue wildly diverges into a list of what stuff Kim collects (including CDs and 8-tracks).
Next thing we see is Kim looking at a photo of that home movie wedding. Joey, her son, interrupts the nostalgia, asking what she's looking at. Then he starts kicking a box for no reason. He's got one of her vintage shirts wrapped around his back, and Kim gets after him for it. She asks how he'd like it if she cut off Mr. Wompy's nose, and that her collectibles are her own Mr. Wompy. Now I'm no Dr. Spock, but threatening to cut off the nose of your child's favorite toy probably won't get you nominated for Mother of the Year. Just a guess. She tells Joey not to touch any of her stuff. They get packed up and ready for Joey to go to school.