Third Watch

Episode Report Card
Nicole: B- | 383 USERS: C+
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Modern Designs For Better Living

So the show starts out with Bobby leaving his apartment building to go to work, and his brother is coming home. Bobby asks him where he has been, and Matt tells him he has been out. No shit! Matt then gives Bobby some money and tells Bobby to use the money to go buy himself a pair of nads and get himself a girlfriend. Matt sure is appreciative of everything Bobby has done for him since he got out of jail. Oh, wait a minute, he isn't. Bobby doesn't know why Matt is giving him money. Hmm, Bobby, I have no idea. Maybe it's to help pay for rent and utilities since he is has been sponging off of you? Then Bobby asks Matt where he got the money, and Matt tells him he has been selling drugs to school kids. Bobby totally falls for Matt's dry humor and Matt has to remind him that he got a job.

During the morning lineup, the captain tells the cops about a serial rapist. This has nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of the show, just so you know. The captain then tells Sully, Ty, and some other cops that they will be part of a raid that night to get Sunder Walker, who is a bookie. Ty almost blows his load right there, he is so excited. Sully's been there, done that, a hundred times before. I mean being a part of a raid, not blowing his load. Get your minds out of the gutter!

Yokas and Bosco are in their car and Yokas is starting to tell Bosco about how annoying Fred has been, but Bosco notices a woman's ass jogging by and must therefore ignore Yokas and watch the ass. Yokas yells at him, and then she goes on about how, for the last four days, Fred hasn't had a drink so he has been all, "Hey honey, I haven't had a beer in four days! Four days and I haven't had a beer!" and is rubbing it in Yokas's face. Bosco thinks that maybe Fred doesn't have a drinking problem. Yokas tells him that Fred can't take the kids to school two out of five times, because he isn't sober enough. Bosco thinks Yokas is overreacting. Yokas retorts with, "This, from a guy who goes slack-jawed over every female rear he sees!" and Bosco has to immediately correct her that he only drops his jaw for the good ones. Have I mentioned lately that I think there is a special place in hell reserved just for Bosco? And that I am temporarily living in that place right now as I have to observe his antics over and over again? Well, there is, and I am. So they get to their call, and they find that the guy who had taken a shit in their car is now terrorizing people outside a fancy apartment building. The doorman had hit him with a hammer because the guy was siphoning gas from someone's car. I don't know what the hell the director was snorting at this point, but this shot has the camera panning around and around and around and around and around Bosco, Yokas, the doorman, and the car-shitting guy, and they are all bickering about who is going to be arrested for what, and finally the car-shitting guy throws gas on the doorman and then throws a lighter on him. Dude! Stop, Drop, and Roll! If Dick VanDyke taught me nothing else, it was to stop, drop, and roll. Everyone should know how to do it. So Bosco remembers what Mr. VanDyke taught him and knocks the doorman to the ground and starts rolling him around, and Yokas cuffs car-shitting guy, and then the credits start.

Third Watch

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