Third Watch

Episode Report Card
Nicole: C+ | Grade It Now!

So the show starts off in a hotel restaurant with people buzzing around getting a big dinner ready with all sorts of fancy food. Bosco comes in singing:

I had a girl, and she was mine
Paint her ass with iodine
On her ass, I hung a sign
Keep off this ass, this ass is mine!

Which makes me think that the writers are trying to write in as many naughty words in their scripts now that the show is on at 10 p.m., like when Saturday Night Live was allowed to use the word "penis," and they had that sketch with Matthew Broderick at the nudist colony, and they used the word "penis" about a hundred times in the sketch. So Bosco sits at a little table set up in the middle of the kitchen, where Yokas is sitting reading the paper. Yokas gives him the stink-eye, and Bosco explains that his father taught him that song. And that is a song that you really want to keep going from generation to generation. Not. I wonder if skanky Nicole's ass has iodine painted all over it. So Bosco asks Yokas for the sports page and she tells him she'll give him the paper when she is done reading it, because she doesn't like her paper "rumbly," whatever that means. She holds the paper so you can see the front page, which says that there's a debate that night between Rudy Giuliani and Hillary Clinton, and then the two of them start talking about being there for police protection during the debate and that people paid $1,000 a plate for dinner after the debate. Okay, first of all, who pays to see a debate? Debates aren't for the ultra-rich who would pay $1,000 for a meal; they are for the little people who haven't made up their mind on who to vote for. And who has a dinner after a debate? I doubt Rudy or Hillary would want to sit down to a fancy meal after standing up in front of a crowd and verbally fighting each other. And how are the two political parties going to divide the money? Where do Democrats and Republicans have joint fundraisers? Big fat whatever. So Bosco is getting in the way of the chefs, and trying to pick food off of plates, and the head chef yells at him to get out of everyone's way. I would have poked Bosco with a big fork if I saw him put his grubby paws on the nice food I was preparing. Bosco then bitches about people paying $1000 to get chicken. There were also plates of lobster on the other table, Bosco, and some people are allergic to seafood and would prefer chicken. Not that you would think to accommodate some people who have limitations on what they can eat. I'm sure there were some plates with just vegetables to accommodate vegetarians. But I'm sure Bosco can't comprehend that some people choose not to eat meat -- he probably thinks that is un-American and that they should just starve. His father probably taught him that too. So Yokas tells Bosco that those people also paid $1000 for a picture with Hillary. Bosco tells her he wants his picture taken with Giuliani. Yokas is all appalled that he likes Giuliani and he can't understand how she could like Hillary and they start debating about who is the better candidate. Sars pretty much sums up what they each say as to why neither Hillary or Rudy should get the Senate seat on her site, Tomato Nation.

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Third Watch




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