When they get to the kid and turn him around, he's this little adorable child, almost a Gerber baby, covered in filth. The kid is cute and has the most forlorn expression. He's like a little five-year-old Thom Yorke. He's no Adam Rich, but the kid is cute, is all I'm saying. Bobby asks lots of questions about mommy and daddy, but the kid doesn't respond. The little boy just looks sad, as if he knows he had to do this instead of the guest spot on ER he was originally promised. We go to commercial before the child's sad cuteness destroys our complacent way of living.
Carlos is in the ER, getting his wound dabbed by the cute nurse. He complains that it was something out of The Birds. Oh, I just figured it out! That old man in the grave? That was Alfred Hitchcock, rolling in his grave! These guys are so clever. Doc asks the nurse what's going on with the kidnapped old man. The nurse gives them an update: the man had a wife and kids and hasn't been found yet. Doesn't Doc have other people more in-the-know that he could ask? Carlos, who will need stitches, asks about Morales. She's got the day off, Doc says. So instead, Carlos will have to get stitches from the mean male doctor who doesn't have the sweet, sexy light touch of Dr. Morales. The doctor comes in, grabs Carlos by the face, and starts jabbing the wound viciously with needles. It's like Stanley Kubrick came in and started running the show. Dr. Feelbad tells them that the old bum they brought in died from the pneumonia. Then he walks off. He's like the dentist character in Little Shop of Horrors, but with no song.
Sully shows up at the nursing home and is rightfully pissed. He gets mad that an 87-year-old woman was allowed to just run off. The nursing home woman, who looks a little like Patricia Heaton from Everybody Loves Raymond, apologizes profusely as they walk out together and Sully is storming off. Sully starts to get in his car to look for Mom when the nursing home woman asks, "May I come?" Do you see what I see? A romantic interest? Oh, yes. Sully, you old dog.
In the Doc-and-Carlos ambulance, Carlos is giving the cockatoo the stink-eye. Somewhere, Mantooth's agent is pissed off because they didn't let the dog attack Carlos instead for this episode. Carlos compares the look of the cockatoo to Clint Eastwood in Fistful Of Dollars. Um, ooookay. Doc gets out, and Carlos starts to feed the bird. Two love connections in a row? Be still my heart. The animal control guy shows up and he just looks psycho as all get out. He's got shifty eyes and a gray ponytail. Doc and Carlos try to explain that the bird only attacked Carlos because it was startled. The animal control guy looks like he just wants to kill something. Anything. As Carlos and Doc watch in horror, the animal control guy enters the back of the ambulance with a net you would normally associate with butterflies and proceeds to look like he's attacking the poor animal. Lots of noise. Lots of clatter. Hoo boy. At one point it looks like the guy is having rough sex with the cockatoo. This is getting to be a loooong episode. The guy finally emerges with the caged bird (I know why it sings, by the way, but I'm not telling). He tells Carlos that because the cockatoo attacked a city employee, it will be "put out." And not the nice way, like when I put my cat outside.