Third Watch
The Self-Importance Of Being Carlos

Episode Report Card
admin: D+ | Grade It Now!
Welcome to Hell. We Have an Entire Wing Devoted to You.

Suddenly, Carlos is at the hospital, chasing after Counselor Cleavage, who gave him a bad evaluation, calling him insensitive and saying he may be emotionally unsuited for his job. She quotes back some mean stuff he said about the old people. He says he was lying. "So which is it? Are you a liar or an emotionally bankrupt human?" she asks. "Which is worse?" he answers. Carlos freaks out, because this becomes a part of his record. She gets in the elevator and says that all he has to do is go through sensitivity training. "And to think I almost called you again," Carlos says.

Outside the station, Jimmy is stopped on the street by Lombardo, who is standing next to a fire truck. Lombardo tells him that his girl, Linda, is pregnant. "Oh God," Jimmy says, in an amusing way. Instead of punching him in the mouth like a real person, Lombardo assures him that the baby isn't Jimmy's. Lombardo just wants Jimmy to know that Lombardo's going to be a father, and he wanted to tell his best friend. Lombardo and Linda are getting back together, and now he's happy. So, what, Jimmy is forgiven? Now that's a big old crock.

As they're helping an elderly person to the ambulance, Doc and Carlos discuss Counselor Dis. Doc thinks it's hilarious and highly ironic. Carlos is just annoyed. "The irony I see; the humor I'm missing," Carlos says. He adds that he's worried he'll look bad when he comes up for review, and he wants to keep his job until he becomes a doctor. "What if they give me another evaluation and they find out I'm cold, emotionless, and aloof?" Carlos asks. Doc says he wouldn't say that about Carlos. Oops, busted: turns out that's what Doc said about Carlos the second day they worked together.

Sensitivity training class. Carlos stares down a group of name tags on a table and mutters, "You've gotta be kidding me." And who should show up next to him but Mr. Sensitivity 2001, Bosco. Who didn't see that coming? Carlos asks him what he's doing there. "What, you mean this isn't Jazzercize class?" Who actually still does Jazzercise? Is that even a viable joke anymore? Sigh.... Bosco says that he's there because he had trouble with a "Can." Carlos asks for clarification. "You know, DominiCAN, MexiCAN, one of those south-of-the-border greaseballs." I'd love to elaborate on this, but this week, Carlos is the target of my bile, not Bosco. Carlos tells Bosco he's part Hispanic. "You're one of the good ones," Bosco tells him, generously. Carlos says he's there because he slept with a girl. Yeah, nice oversimplification there, Ear Boy. Suddenly, a guy with a beard -- who turns out to be the great Eric Bogosian (though why he's on this show, I have no idea) -- calls the class to order. Bosco quickly advises Carlos to tell the guy what he wants to hear, rather than be honest. Bosco also mentions that he's been through this training many times. Big surprise.

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