First, an announcement. This is the last Third Watchrecap Mighty Big TV will publish. Why? Well, apparently, y'all aren't reading these. And the forums have become infested with tumbleweed and dust. So, let's make this fun. I'll stay snarky to the end, and you'll chuckle along and pretend that you've been watching the show during the latter half of the second season. It'll be like group therapy, only a little less delusional.

Previously on This Show is Doomed: Jimmy chatted up his best friend's girl Linda at his own engagement party. Then he got slugged at the fire station by her man Lombardo. I try to remember why. Oh, yeah! Because he boffed her in the bathroom at that same party. Boy, that Jimmy sure does get around. Brooke (the woman he was supposed to be getting engaged to at that party) found out and told him to stay away. And then, weeks later, Lombardo told him that Linda was pregnant. Jimmy freaked out, but Lombardo assured him that it is the product of healthy Lombardo sperm, and not of the Jimmy Lothario sperm. Jimmy breathed a sigh of relief. Just like that, they were friends again.

The episode that has my "Get out of Third Watch free card," begins in a snowy park, as Jimmy and his son Joey kick a ball around. In voice-over, Jimmy talks about the movie Jerry Maguire, and how Tom Cruise's character woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat to create a mission statement. Look, you know you're getting desperate when you start cribbing your show's emotional themes from movies that were released within the last five years. Next week, Carlos will fantasize about somebody showing him the money. ["Maybe he will, but you won't read about it here." -- Wing Chun] Jimmy, all smiles from the holy light and faint music playing as he admires his son, says he needs one of those: a plan, a mission statement. How about, "Don't screw women other than your fiancée at your engagement party"? Hell, that motto should apply to all firefighters. Jimmy says he plans to make up for all the hurt he's caused people around him. Good luck with that, buddy. Hope that works out real well for you now that nobody wants to have anything to do with you.