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Russell Dies
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The Previously segment is driving me crazy. It does every season, but this season it seems especially awful. All Probst talks about is how awesome Li'l Russell is and how much Shambo sucks. They're even using the exact same interview clip of Laura saying Shambo is like Gilligan two weeks in a row. Also, I love how Probst acts like Li'l Russell was the reason why Ashley went home last week when even if he had voted for Liz, Ashley still would have gotten the majority of the votes. Also, Foa Foa supposedly didn't discuss their votes beforehand so there's no way he could have had anything to do with them all voting for Ashley anyway. In conclusion: shut up, Probst.

It's Day 15 at Foa Foa and it is still raining. Mick's feet are gross and wrinkly and he's shivering in his shelter, so much so that Natalie accuses him of having a seizure. FORESHADOWING. Mick interviews that the weather has been like this for five days now, and it's so rough that some people were jealous of Ashley last night when she was voted out to a nice, warm bed and a roof over her head. Li'l Russell decides to hang out in the ocean because it's actually warmer in there right now, while Jaison wins my love forever by talking about the awesome cartoon Captain Planet and how much Ma-Ti and his heart element ring sucked. My god, there must be an entire generation of kids out there who talked about this with each other, because my friends and I thought Ma-Ti sucked, too. Especially when compared to Wheeler, who got the fire ring. Except he was an ass, so the most awesome character was, of course, Dr. Blight and her sarcastic computer. Captain Pollution was also pretty cool. Anyway, now Jaison sees the err of his Ma-Ti-hating ways, saying he'd give anything for a heart ring because right now he's having a hard time summoning up the passion to stay in this game. Don't be stupid, Jaison. If you had a fire ring then you could make a nice, warm fire for yourself. Or if you had the water ring, you could control the rain and make it stop. If you had the wind ring, you could just blow all the rain away. Special bonus: you could dry off quickly. And if you had the earth ring, you could use it to make a waterproof shelter. And if you had all five rings, you could summon Captain Planet, who would fly down for like ten seconds before a drop of slightly acidic rain kicked his ass. So even in this case, the heart ring is the least useful of all the elements. Li'l Russell claims to love the miserable conditions and says they make him stronger. I have a feeling he'd be singing a different tune if he didn't have those sixty pounds of fat to keep him nice and warm.

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