MONDO EXTRAS
...but maybe I could have shown a modicum of self-control
Preston pulls up at the party (it's a "key party" where everyone drops their keys in a jar to keep them from drunk driving [see: Say Anything]. Responsible, yes. Original, no) and tells Denise that he has "the letter" (see: C. Thomas Howell, Secret Admirer). Denise scoffs about his four-year revision of said letter. I join Denise in her scoffing when Fate smacks Preston again as Barry Manilow's "Mandy" comes on the radio (Geddit? Amanda = Mandy). Denise tells Preston that he's lame and that the song is about Manilow's pooch. Inside the party, Sabrina "Maximum Overdrive" the Teenage Witch is playing a pig-tailed Patty Simcox (go Greased lightning!), bouncing about and tormenting everyone until they sign her yearbook. Kenny "Special K" Fisher arrives wi' his posse and declares it's time to get "bizzah" because "time is honeys." Posse Member 1 asks Posse Member 2, "Hey, yo, d'you think he's gonna hizzit the skizzins?" Wha'? I so miss Seth Green on Buffy. Will "Gates" Lichter puts his cronies on the roof of the house and tells them to expect him at 00:30 hours. No fears, he tells them; if he has to drink to blend in, he's got a guide printed from the web that'll tell him how much he can have without impairing his judgment. Meanwhile, the Jerk-Weed Jock Squad shows up at the party and the toadies greet their girlfriends, a cat pack that includes Ferretarentella (tm Manimal), only to be reminded by Mike "The Ringleader" Dexter about their "game plan." However, before any classhole action can be taken, a hush falls, stirred only by whispers of "Look!" and "I can't believe she came!" In walks a bushy-eyebrowed Jennifer Love Hewitt as Amanda, self-conscious and modest. Amanda, the poor, misunderstood, wronged Homecoming Queen whose future is undecided, and whose defining quote comes from Jewel (which is even more pathetic than having a defining quote from Tupac). Preston's face lights up, but she passes him by to greet her friends, the Cheerleaders (a.k.a. girlfriends of the Jock Squad). Mike ignores her, and the Jock Squad's girlfriends close around her in a viper's consoling embrace.
Preston and Denise observe Kenny "Hope there's no full moon tonight" Fisher seducing himself in a mirror. Denise scoffs, and Preston rides her about being good friends with him in fourth grade. They waltz off to look for Preston's "Mandy." Denise points her out, and Preston freaks and "harness[es] [his] Chi" to calm down. Denise asks him if he was this weird when they went out, and Preston asks if she was this bitchy when they went out. Turns out they "went together" for a week in eighth grade. Could there be shades of Some Kind of Wonderful in their banter? Preston leaves Denise on her own to find Amanda. Amanda's talking to the Cheerleaders, who are trying to comfort her by comparing her relationship with Mike to Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow. They tell Amanda that she is "way prettier" than Gwyneth and "has way bigger [dinners]" to boot. Amanda excuses herself from their ravings when they proclaim Mike an asshole and shriek the word as though heralding a new discovery. As soon as Amanda is out of sight, the Cheerleaders rip her to shreds. Kenny "Wizard of Oz" Fisher puts on some yellow goggles and attempts, unsuccessfully, to bag some babes.













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