Time of Your Life
Episode Report Card130 USERS: A+
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Hepwitt is now playing the grown-up Hepburn at a dance tryout. Busty and dressed in a black leotard, Hepwitt stretches at the barre. A woman, who is supposed to be a young Kay Kendall but looks nothing like her, introduces herself and asks Hepwitt to join her after the audition for coffee. Hepwitt tells Kay about her mother getting cigarettes from English soldiers and then trading them on the black market in order to get her penicillin. Hepwitt goes on to say that her mother sacrificed so much in order to get her daughter to London to study dance. Kay tells her she can earn quick money doing revues and nightclub work. Hepwitt says she doesn't want to dance in musicals, and wouldn't know how even if she tried. Kay is skeptical about Hepwitt's desire to be a prima ballerina. Hepwitt moons about wanting to find her father in England. Kay tells Hepwitt she's the biggest dreamer she ever met, and says she needs a boyfriend. Hepwitt attempts to look modest. The second day of the dance audition is over, and Madame Instructor comes over to help Hepwitt at the barre. Hepwitt admits that she lost precious time not dancing during the war, and Madame asks if she would give everything up for dance. Hepwitt waxes enthusiastic in her love for dance, blah, blah, blah. Madame decides to give her a chance -- otherwise the war would have triumphed over the dancer. The truth is, Hepwitt's dinners are too big for a dancer, no matter how hard she tries to smoosh them into a leotard, but Madame doesn't know how to tell her that. Dance montage in which, I am convinced, Hepwitt is not one of the dancers. Hepwitt confesses doubts to her mother about her talent as a dancer. Her mother tells her she can always find something else to do, but Hepwitt whines that she's only happy when she's dancing. Ma Hepburn gives her good advice about life having other plans sometimes and one should be flexible. Ma Hepburn cites her own life: she was once a baroness and now she's a restaurant hostess. Yeah, quit your grousing, Hepwitt! In the next scene, Hepwitt practices gracelessly at the barre and Madame comes in to tell her (and her cleavage) that she has neither the stature nor the talent to become a prima ballerina. Hepwitt says, "I see," between clenched lips, minces forward and kisses Madame on both cheeks, and thanks her for allowing her to study under her tutelage and for being truthful. Madame leaves, and Hepwitt drips tears onto her capacious dinners. Hepwitt tries being a model, gets annoyed, and walks out. Her only choice is to join Kay in trying out for a Jerome Robbins' musical, "High Button Shoes," which she complains about. Kay gets annoyed since she is the one who got Hepwitt the audition, and Hepwitt apologizes, explaining that she didn't think she would have to sing. Nicky, the star of the show, prances over to be introduced to Hepwitt. He lifts Hepwitt in the air and exclaims she's light as a feather. Jennifer Love Hewitt proves you can take the girl out of Time of Your Life, but you can't take Time of Your Life out of the girl, as she does The Giggle, and I do The Scream. Kay, Hepwitt, and the others do their dance combination for the casting director. Jerome Robbins takes notice of Hepwitt: "Watch the skinny one. You can see her eyes all the way to the back row. And all you'll see when they're dancing is my choreography." Callbacks are announced: Kendall is one and Hepwitt is another. The French piano player, Marcel, has taken notice of Audrey, and glides over to be introduced. Marcel's French accent sounds about as real as that of Martin Short's "Fronk" in Father of the Bride. They end up singing together in an empty practice room, and their voices just meld so well together: bad accent and bad singing voice. I think it's about time to pour myself a little drinkie. A bottle of rum, chased by vodka, oughta do the trick. Marcel and Hepwitt have a cliché picnic in a field, replete with champagne, cheese, fruit, and Marcel saying, "Eh, how you say . . ." every other sentence.
Time of Your Life