Props to FB-Lucy and to Wigbee for being my sound manager.
Instead of the usual "Previously on Blah-Blah Show," we are treated to an opening voice-over from that adorable Princess, Sarah Merrin. A chipper "here's what you need to know" is followed by a recap of the basic whos, whats, whys and wheres of the current situation. "But I did meet a guy named Maguire, who seems to care a lot about what happens to me." Well, that's nice, because the rest of us don't.
The Three Stooges -- Romy, Sarah, and Maguire -- are struggling to carry an old, lumpy, blue mattress of Maguire's up the stairs. When Romy comments on the stench of the futon, Maguire explains, "Aftershave accident. Gift from an old girlfriend with not-good taste." Sarah says she can get used to the smell. Good, because we were worried -- instead of being The Princess and the Pea, she could have been The Princess and the Polo Cologne. Some mild flirtation occurs when Sarah decides to slacken on her share of the load so she can turn to Maguire-Scraggle-Rock and say, "By the way, did I say thank you?" I'm thinking a good way of saying thanks would be to get the very heavy mattress into the apartment pronto instead of dilly-dallying in the hall, but Scraggle-Rock says, "I need the space." I guess he is easily pleased.
Maguire drops the mattress inside the apartment, which seems to have undergone reconstruction since last week from a studio to a multi-room format. With Stooge-esque timing, the apartment door flies open, smacking Maguire and sending him into the corner. I think that was supposed to be funny. Enter Boob-Flashing Landlady, Cecilia, who reads them the riot act about the rent being due. As Maguire slips out the door, Romy and Sarah babble out a line of crap about checks bouncing, the bank holding it, and "features versus television." They seem to have confused Boob-Flasher with Mr. Roper, and they are trying to explain why Jack was in bed with a woman. Boob-Flasher-Roper isn't buying it, saying, "What, you think I'm . . . challenged?" and gives them until Friday, and then she will call "Lutz," who I am assuming is the owner. Princess Sarah stutters a bit, but Boob-Flasher interrupts, "I just went deaf." Romy tells Princess that she has to come up with her half of the rent (not an unheard-of idea in my book), but Princess gives her attitude about only having $300 (last time we checked, the rent was $300, so her half would be, um, $150?). Princess won't ask Bailey for the money, because then she would actually have to be honest with him and tell him she isn't coming home.