Romy gives the voice-over again for this week's ep, as we revisit the last few weeks of Sarah's relationship with Bailey and her use of Maguire as her shoulder to cry on. I forget, is there anyone else on this show?
Romy has a screen test. She has lied on her résumé that she is a graduate of Yale Drama. The guy asks her if she knew some guy who would have graduated with her, and Romy says, "Yeah, yeah. Great actor. Lousy in bed." Why would you even say that? The guy looks at her and says, "He's gay!" and Romy says, "That explains it!" That explains what -- why you would mention your bedroom during a screen test? They continue with the test. Why am I not surprised when Romy turns out to be a pathetic actress? She flubs her line, saying "night" instead of "day," and her lips really look huge on the monitor.
New scene, new stupidity. Sarah is looking at the karaoke screen and singing to an empty bar. It's not clear if it's before opening hours or if everyone cleared out because of her singing. Romy is at the bar, complaining to Joss about her flubbed screen test: "Night and day, how hard is that?" Joss says what we're all thinking: "Let it go, babe!" Well, except for the "babe" part. Joss announces closing time, which makes so much sense since it looks like it is bright daylight outside. Romy asks why Sarah is singing "this song?" Joss explains, "Because turning up the lights doesn't get everybody out. This has worked every time." Is it just me, or is the show actually acknowledging that no one wants to hear Jennifer Love Hewitt wail on a mic? Joss passes among the remaining patrons, yelling at them to get out. Finally, when you think you can't stand it anymore, Romy yells, "Would you stop with the song already!?" Sarah gives her a dirty look and stops. Some guy who has been staring at Sarah since she started her song walks up to the stage and tells her she's got "one fantastic set of pipes." I'm glad he said "pipes" -- otherwise we might think he is commenting on the tightness of her baby blue sweater. Sarah thanks him sullenly and tells him she wasn't really trying. (I don't think she should attempt to make excuses about sounding bad when we all know she just sucks at singing.) The guy insists that she is "a natural," and they introduce themselves. His name is Anthony Rizzoli (like the bookstore?). Romy is still at the bar whinging to Joss, and Joss finally picks up a bottle of Absolut and smacks her over the head with it. And then I wake up. Anyhow, Anthony tells Sarah that she is "better than karaoke" and that her voice "transcends." Yeah, I'll say her voice "transcends," it transcends right into my nightmares every night. Romy is turning into a belligerent platypus at the bar, and Joss tells her that "no one makes it overnight." Anthony asks Sarah to sing at his family's club. "Wow, are you serious? That would be, wow!" She can't get a coherent sentence out, but somehow Anthony thinks she can sing. Romy looks at Joss and slurs, "Would you just stab me?" Damn! I hit my nose on the TV trying to fulfill her request, then start reciting my mantra -- "It's only a show, it's only a show" -- because for some reason that always calms me down.