Time of Your Life
The Time She Got Mobbed

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The Time She Got Mobbed

Sarah says she's overthinking and she's nervous. Tony tells her he thinks that's cute. Sarah protests (very weakly, in my opinion) and tells him that she wants everything to stay professional between them. Finally, Sarah gets brutal and tells Tony that nothing is ever going to happen between them, ever, even if Maguire wasn't in the picture. Tony says, "Do you have any idea how many relationships I've had that started with those very words?" Great, so this guy wears women down until they submit? Good business partner you got there, Sarah.

Platypus and J.B. are watching a tape of Platypus' soap and Platypus slows down the recording, frame-by-frame, to show J.B. where she is in the shot. "See, look at that -- even in slow motion, you blink, you miss me. That's Dede. Right now my entire family is wondering why I have blonde hair and big boobs." J.B. says that he thought she told them all the truth, and Platypus explains that she was planning on writing everyone instead: "Good news, a phone call; bad news, postcards." J.B. tells her that he although he's no expert, he thought she was good. "Yeah, all five seconds of me," Platypus says. Platypus then goes on to say that what J.B. said to her last night helped her put all her failures into perspective: "And you know what I realized? You're totally right and I will never do that. I mean, sex isn't something you just use -- it should mean something." They kiss. Platypus "means something" here, and J.B. knows it because he stops her and says, "Rome, I just don't think that we should." Platypus starts to get annoyed and says, "What, still not the right time?" J.B. shakes his head, "No, I don't think so." Platypus asks if he can give her a hint, "because I always thought the right time for a guy was when the woman said yes." J.B. says, "It depends on the guy."

We're back at the studio, and Sarah is singing -- oh God, she's singing! During her song, Sarah and Tony are doing some sort of sign language. Tony seems to think the song pertains to him, but Sarah keeps shaking her head at him and gesturing, "No!" I don't know what kind of sound Love is going for here, but she sure isn't singing from her diaphragm, unless "diaphragm" has a new definition that means "nasal passages." The song ends, and Tony blows her a kiss with both hands. A voice from the booth says, "Sounds good, let's lay it down." Sarah manages a strained smile.

J.B. is back to playing gigolo at Joan's. Joan is just getting off the phone with a client: "Get this, I have shown this woman eight fantastic apartments and now she tells me she wants four bathrooms, one just for her cosmetics. Makes me proud to be a woman." J.B. is clearly not listening, because, at her prodding, he says, "Me too." Joan asks him what's wrong, but J.B. doesn't want to talk about it. Joan offers him a back rub, but J.B. says no. Joan persists until J.B. blurts out, "I don't want a back rub, all right?" Joan, taken aback, asks if she did something: "Is this about me?" J.B. tells her he's just in a mood, and she accepts that, tells him she's going to heat up the Chinese, and walks inside. J.B. continues his brood on the balcony.

At the bar, Sarah sighs to Joss, "He's definitely avoiding me." Joss says, "I don't see you talking to him," tells her to get her checks in and shouts, "Last call!" Doesn't Joss get it? Sarah's not the one who tries to get the guy to talk to her -- they're always climbing over each other to get her attention, and she's not used to being ignored! Sheesh, I don't know how Joss puts up with Sarah's whining. Sarah saunters over to where Scraggle is playing purple-felted pool. "Last call, want anything?" Sarah asks. "Nope," answers Scraggle. "Okay, you hate me," says Sarah. "Nope," answers Scraggle. "Then what? Repulsed? Mildly disgusted?" (Those two choices get my vote, except change the "mildly" to "wildly.") Scraggle finally gives more than a one-syllable response and says, "Nope, just surprised." Sarah asks him if it's because she's going after what she wants, and Scraggle tells her it's the way she's doing it. Sarah tells Scraggle that she set Tony straight, and Scraggle says, "Great, then you don't need me anymore." Sarah tells him that Tony still sees potential, but Scraggle tells her, "Sorry, I'm out." Sarah starts to pout, but I don't think it will get her anywhere this time. "Maguire," she whines. Scraggle: "I'm not cool with this anymore. Find someone else. Look, you're getting what you want out of this guy, you don't need me. I'm not pretending anymore. Not when there's nothing behind it. You're on your own." Scraggle turns away from Sarah's sullen face. "Maguire," she whines again, but he's out the door. Joss calls out, "Yo, Sarah, it's that time again. Closing!" Sarah gets up on the stage and starts her singing routine again: "Whether I'm right, whether I'm wrong. Whether I find a place in this world or never belong, I've gotta be me, I've gotta be me." Well, isn't that clever? They come full circle and Time Of Sarah's Life has a new theme song.

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Time of Your Life

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