Time of Your Life
The Time She Got Mobbed

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The Time She Got Mobbed

J.B. and Joan leave some bar or restaurant together, talking about singles cruises. We see that J.B. is wearing his new tight aqua sweater from Madeira. They have their arms around each other as they walk. Joan says, "It's been almost six months now and my mother thinks you and I are just a phase, so she keeps trying to introduce me to men my own age." What, exactly, has been "almost six months"? J.B. hails a cab and they kiss several times. "I really missed you, you know that?" Joan murmurs. J.B. tells her that he's got to be up early and she says, "That's okay, so do I. I have an apartment to show on West End Avenue at 8:30." J.B. tells Joan that he has a small-business seminar to go to and he has to "change and shave." Joan lets him off the hook and says, "So, I'll see you tomorrow, around eight?" J.B. agrees and sends her off in the car. Gigolo much?

Sarah is singing at the "club," and Scraggle is sitting behind her strumming. On his guitar, that is. The club seems to be more of a loud restaurant that, thankfully, is doing a good job of drowning out Sarah's sad ballad. Her song comes to an end, and there is no applause, so she stalks off the stage. Scraggle follows. Some older guy gets up with the mic and starts singing "That's Amore" with an accordion accompaniment, and he sounds suspiciously like Dean Martin. The rest of the restaurant prefers this song to Sarah's, and they start singing along. Suddenly, we're in the middle of an Olive Garden commercial! Anthony tells Sarah that she was great, but Sarah complains that he is alone in that opinion. Anthony assures her that "Unless Barbara Streisand came in here and sang 'People Who Need Italian People,' they would talk right through her, too." That "People Who Need People" joke would have been funny if I didn't have to read it on closed captioning to figure out what the hell he was mumbling. Anthony tells Sarah that he made a tape of her song and is going to send it to a record producer friend of his, and then he drags her over to meet his family, who are all sitting at a table peering at her through cigar smoke. "Sarah, I want you to meet: Angelo, Sal, Joey, Richie, Carmen, Slick, Bo-Bo and Mouth. He can't talk anymore." (I think he's referring to Mouth.) After the introduction, they all ignore Sarah -- thank God some men on this show do! -- and go back to their conversations and cigars. ["So much for 'hospitaliano.'" -- Sars]

Scraggle and Sarah on the train. Sarah is doing The Giggle again: "I mean, Bo-Bo did not seem like a nice man, and Mouth? What do they mean, he can't talk anymore?" Scraggle tells her that it means she should stay as far away from those guys as possible. Sarah goes on to say that she had never really thought about being a singer before, and then this happened, so maybe this is what she's been looking for -- the reason she moved to New York. What is this, another philosophical breakthrough on the A train? Puh-leese. Sarah giggles again, "I am such a dork." Dude, she said it, not me.

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