Oh, God, am I really ready to see another one so soon? I guess I'll have to bite the bullet in the interest of amusement. Something I didn't let on last time is that this is the episode in which Spencer and Jennifer Love Spewzits either get caught by Princess Leia, or decide to tell her about their little fling. At any rate, it looks as though Leia, Leader of the Rebel Alliance (help me, keckler-wan, you're my only hope) will be exacting some revenge for their less-than-cricket behavior. Unfortunately, we know HewTits will win out in the end because of the old Big Dinners Conquer All adage. I'm telling you, I've brought that word to a whole new level for Mr. keckler. When we walk through Star Market's frozen aisle, he feels the need to point out Swanson's Hungry Man Dinners and begs me to get them. And then I came home from work last month to find him dancing gleefully around the apartment waving some pieces of paper. Our wedding reception contract came in the mail, and it had a catering estimate for 150 dinners. I don't even want to know what was going through his head. Okay, I think I've put off the inevitable long enough -- time to press play.
The opener has a youngish balding guy telling a bunch of students why he thinks Ron Popeil would get his vote for Greatest American of the Last Century. The class giggles. "I'm serious. The Pocket Fisherman, the Vegamatic? And I hear you saying, 'Oh that's no big deal, I could've thought of that,' but you didn't, and he did. And he's rich and you're not. At least not yet. Next class, bring in your own idea for your new business and we'll go from there." The chalkboard behind him says "Idea," "Research," "Skill," and "Capital," so I am guessing this is one of those do-it-yourself-get-rich-quick night classes. So what, I ask myself, is Sarah doing peering around the doorjamb? For the life of me, I can't think how any of those four things written on the board apply to her in any way, shape, or form. On the other hand, I couldn't for the life of me think how "Music," "Talent," "Singing," or "Hepburn" applied to her either, but ABC seemed to get away with that one. Note that I said "get away with," not "convince anyone in the known galaxy." Just so we're clear. Class is dismissed, and Sarah bounces (does she ever shuffle like a normal person?) up to the instructor. She gives him what she thinks is a disarming smile and starts to babble about working late, the subway made her later, blah blah blah tardycakes. The instructor interrupts her and asks her if she can't be committed to coming to class, how can she be committed to changing her life. Sarah convinces him that she is committed by handing him a check and begs him to go over what he just taught for the last two hours. He says they went over the four questions everyone needs to ask oneself before starting a new business. Sarah, the beetlewit, looks blank and the instructor sighs. "Do I have an idea I'm passionate about? Have I done the research to indicate there's a need for my idea? Do I have the skills to succeed in my business? And do I have the minimum necessary capital to begin my business? If you can answer those four, you're good to go," the instructor finishes. Sarah, if possible, looks even blanker. The instructor sighs and asks if she has an answer to any of them. Sarah asks if she can just buy his book Twenty-five Inspirational Stories of People Who Started Their Own Successful Business [sic] from Scratch. I think something happened in the conversion of this tape, because Jennifer Love Lewdpit is sounding way too much like Lacey "The Elf" Chabert.