A harried Cecilia is trying to hold down a waiting room full of hyperactive children (all who look too young to be getting braces) and demanding parents. The phone is ringing off the hook, so Cecilia grabs it and says, "Yo, Andy Bings office! Can you just hold, or something?" A little girl comes up to the desk and asks a question while doing a great lisping Cindy Brady imitation. Cecilia just looks at her and says, "What?" The little girl starts to cry and runs back to her mother. At this moment, Andy comes out looking for a file because she gave him the wrong one. "Oh, my bad! Its friggin Romper Room out here!" she says. Andy looks around his waiting room, which is packed to the brim with annoyed parents and crying children, and looks concerned. Another lisping girl comes up: "Hello?" Cecilia looks and her and says, "What? God, what?" The little girl runs away crying. Andy quickly slides the frosted glass window closed, and Cecilia asks him if it is always so crazy. "Actually, no, not even a little. I think -- I mean, were usually pretty conservative around here and dont get me wrong, I love your hair and the way you dress, I do -- God knows I do -- its just, maybe, well, for the kids --" Andy trails off and Cecilia asks if hes asking her to dress down. "Well, it really might help," Andy says, embarrassed. Cecilia slides open the glass window and shouts, "Next!" to the room of sobbing children. Look, I know what the show is trying to do to Cecilias character, and I really must take exception to it. She hasnt lived twenty-five-odd years without learning how to comport herself in an office situation. Thats just not plausible. What isplausible is JLHs attempt to make Cecilia seem clueless and unlikable, and if shes trying to take some of that cluelessness and unlikableness away from her own character by doing so, shes going to have to try much, much harder.
Sarah arrives at Spencers apartment; he has just come out of the shower. "Now what is so important that you couldnt use the phone?" Spencer asks. Hey, I recognize that living room! Thats where Sarah drunkenly stripped for Spencer and showed all five viewers her big dinners. "Your family is a wreck!" Sarah announces. "Youre a little late coming to that party," Spencer retorts just as supermodel Leya comes dripping into the room, "Spence, were out of -- oh, hi, Sarah." Sarah says hi to Leya and apologizes for interrupting them. Spencer is getting more impatient by the minute: "Will you please hurry up with your latest crisis?" Sarah tells him that she didnt take the job to be a mother to Flynn or a husband to Ashley. Spencer says to take that issue up with his "little stepmom," but Sarah says she cant, because Ashley is always having an "emotional meltdown," because his Spencers father has all but abandoned his pregnant wife. Finally, Sarah tries to explain to Spencer the fake ID situation. She tells him that she cant make Flynn see reason, because talking to Flynn is "like talking to you!" Spencer says that Flynn can take care of herself, "and youre just the baby-sitter for Gods sake, so baby-sit. Now, please, would you mind throwing yourself out, because Id like to finish my shower!" This is where Leya tells him that they are out of hot water. "Perfect!" Spencer says and slams the door. Leya is impressed by what she heard between Sarah and Spencer and says that shes never heard Spencer talk so much. "We were not talking, we were arguing!" Sarah says by way of putting her straight. Leya tells her that shes lucky to get two words out of him. Yup, that sounds like a healthy relationship. "But you guys have this back-and-forth thing going. This spark, this witty paté," she says. Considering the circles she moves in as a supermodel, shouldnt she know what "paté" is? Oh, right, shes a model. She doesnt eat. Ever. Leya asks how she does it. "I just pretty much disagree with everything and anything that comes out of his mouth. Im not afraid to voice an opposing point of view," Sarah explains quite pointedly. "Oh, but I dont have one," Leya says, "an opposing point of view, I mean." Sarah looks at her and tells her to read some magazines (not books or newspapers?) like Time or Newsweek. Sarah, when exactly was the last time you picked up either of those magazines? Sarah leaves.













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