Time of Your Life
The Time She Turned 21

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The Time She Turned 21

Damn! They’re back to having Sarah’s voice-over do the "okay, here’s what you need to know" schtick. Sarah sums up her involvement with Spencer, "this rich guy," the Thanksgiving party, and the encounter at his stepmother’s place with Spencer’s quip that if he ever saw her again it would be too soon.

I pour myself a tall glass of milk. The icy milk sucked from the alcoholic udder of juniper berries. In other words, gin.

A teenager is on the phone, ignoring Sarah’s supplications of "hel-lo? Flynn, school!" while the pregnant Ashley dithers around looking for her Walkman, because she has to do her affirmations. Sarah, as capable as she was on her last Halloway family job, tells her it’s on the desk next to Flynn’s report card, which needs to be signed. Ashley shrieks when she sees that Flynn has a "C" in algebra. Big whoop. Sarah tells Ashley that she’s going to talk to Flynn’s teacher today. Sarah keeps trying to break through Flynn’s conversation and Ashley gets all weepy, saying, "You see how she acts like we aren’t even here? My therapist says she’s punishing me because her father’s away." Sarah tells her to do her affirmations and to sign the report card. Ashley gets this weird simpering smile on her face and walks over to her desk while repeating, "I’m naturally enlightened. I am naturally enlightened." Then she has a fit because she can’t find a pen and starts screaming. Sarah gives Ashley a pen just as Spencer walks in and says, "Good morning all!" Seeing Sarah, he says, "Oh, and you too." Flynn finally manages to tear herself away from the telephone and flings herself at Spencer, asking what he is doing there. Spencer says he’s taking her to school, but Sarah gets all shirty, saying that Flynn is her responsibility. Spencer says that Flynn won’t skip because she listens to him. "Then talk to her. Tell her to stop tormenting me," Ashley whines, and now she’s sitting in the om-yoga position. Spencer says snidely that he’s not the parent and that Flynn probably looks on her as a peer; whether he’s talking about Sarah or Ashley is unclear. Ashley heaves herself out of her chair, muttering, "All I need, I have within me. All I need I have within me." Sarah looks at Spencer and says, "Nice," between gritted teeth. Spencer asks, "Why should I be?" and then tells her that "Leya" and he are taking Flynn to the theater that night, so Sarah has the night off from her "little job." Sarah asks who "Leya" is and Spencer tells her, "Cantrell." Sarah’s eyes bug out: "The model?" "No, the upholsterer. And why is that so shocking?" Spencer asks. "No, no. You, supermodel. I’m there," Sarah concedes sarcastically. Spencer tells her that Leya is very "well-rounded." On which parts of her body is a supermodel ever "well-rounded?" Sarah says, "You’re being clever, right?" "She’s bright, well-read, articulate. She’s the perfect woman," Spencer replies smugly. "And you’re -- a man," Sarah says for lack of a better word. Spencer glares at her as Flynn comes flying out of her room, telling him she doesn’t want to be late. They leave. Ashley wails that she can’t find her belly-pillow and is about to go into her third bout of hysterics for the day when Sarah pulls it out from behind the couch pillows. Who exactly is Sarah supposed to be a babysitter to -- the half-sister or the stepmother?

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Time of Your Life

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