Time of Your Life
The Time The Millennium Approached

Episode Report Card
Keckler: D | 1 USERS: A+
The Time The Millennium Approached

We are looking at a mess of bottles and crap when we hear a knock on the door. Platypus calls out from behind her pile of garbage, "It's open!" Joss pokes her head in and says, "It's open? Hello? You got a death wish or something?" Platypus tells her she's expecting a junk-food delivery. Joss asks if Sarah is around, and Platypus says, "Sarah doesn't live here anymore." Joss is taken aback, "Really? Well, do you know where she is?" Platypus says, "Don't have a clue. Don't give a damn." "Wow," Joss says. "Well, I dropped some pretty heavy stuff on her yesterday and I was kind of harsh about it and so I wanted to apologize." Platypus points a chip at her and whispers, "Hey, I'm watching here," and gestures at her to stop talking. From the TV, we can hear that she is watching some foreign-language show. Joss asks her what it is, and Platypus replies that she has no idea. Joss tries another approach: "What language is it in?" "No idea, but I think I'm about able to speak it," Platypus answers. That's good enough to tempt Joss, so she flops down next to Platypus, who offers her some chips.

Back at Saks's return department, Sarah's pinched-faced co-worker tells her that she has to leave early and asks if Sarah wouldn't mind covering, "Unless you have someplace to go?" Sarah answers in the negative, and her co-worker tells her she is a "life-saver." A male voice asks Sarah, "Excuse me, miss, do you have these in black?" Sarah answers irritably that she is returns, not sales, and looks up to see Archer, her un-father father figure. He's just as surprised to see her and asks what she's doing there. Um, working, maybe? Sarah tells him, "Me? Oh, holiday help is all." Sarah asks Archer what he's doing there. He tells her he's looking for some "very warm gloves" because he's leaving for Geneva the day after New Year's. They both tell each other that they have been thinking of one another. Sarah apologizes for they way they left things, and Archer tells her that she was right and that he wasn't entitled to act like her father. Sarah says that he was just thinking of her best interests and she never thanked him. Out comes the pity ploy: "I just thought I had a lot more to fall back on than I actually did." Archer asks her what she is talking about, and she tells him that she doesn't have the friends she thought she did and she's on her own. Archer doesn't know what to say and asks if there is anything he can do. Sarah says, "Well, it is the New Year, more than that, the millennium. I don't have anybody to spend it with. If I could spend tonight with someone that I have some connection with -- even if it is sort of a made-up connection --" Archer interrupts her and says that they are friends, and he asks her to spend New Year's with him. Sarah simpers gratefully. Good job, Sarah -- horn in on Mr. Theatre Impresario's ritzy plans. You've certainly found a way to outclass everyone.

Scraggle is standing outside a posh apartment building, being told by a doorman that Miss Collier isn't there. Scraggle says that he'll wait, but the doorman (who keeps calling him "sir") tells him that he can't let Scraggle loiter. Sir Scraggle tells the doorman that he knows him. The doorman says, "Yes, Mr. Maguire, but we live in a time in which most of the deplorable acts you can name are committed by disgruntled returnees. Now, I always thought you were a nice fella and to the naked eye you don't seem to be packing a piece but all the same I'm going to have to ask you to leave." A female voice says, "That won't be necessary, Ray." Scraggle's jaw drops open as he regards his former love, a blond with one of those pixie haircuts Jenna Elfman made so famous two years ago. Scraggle stammers, "I was just passing by --" and trails off at the merry disbelief in Jessica's eyes.

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Time of Your Life




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