Time of Your Life
The Time The Millennium Approached

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The Time The Millennium Approached

J.B.'s New Year's date walks into the salon while he's working and tells him that she is going to be picking him up in a limo she hired for the both of them. She tells him to go home and get dressed up and be ready at eight, and adds that J.B. really saved her life by agreeing to go out with her on New Year's Eve. She explains that she was terrified of this night because she bought the tickets five years ago while on her honeymoon. "On your honeymoon?" J.B. says in disbelief. She rushes to explain that they are now divorced and have been for six months, but five years ago they had it all figured out: "You know, exactly where we would be when the clock struck twelve. It was like planning a memory. Except we didn't quite make it to the millennium, and I just couldn't imagine getting myself through this night. You know, I couldn't imagine staying home, I couldn't imagine going to the party alone -- and then you came along." She kisses J.B. on the cheek and says, "I'll see you in a bit."

Sarah is at Archer's apartment staring out the window as Archer comes into the room and says, "I'm sorry I kept you waiting." Sarah tells him it's okay, she was just admiring the view and that she read about the amazing fireworks display. Then she notices how dressed up Archer is. "Oh, you're in a tux," she says stupidly. Archer is confused, "Well, yes?" Sarah apologizes and says she wishes she were more formal. Archer says she looks lovely, and "besides, the invitation said 'Black tie optional.'" "Invitation?" Sarah asks, panicking. Archer starts to walk her out, "Yes, the party at Nina and Neil Decker's place, huge patrons of the arts. I've got a car picking us up in twenty minutes." "I -- I thought --" Sarah stutters. Archer says, "You thought --? Oh, Sarah, I'm so sorry, I guess I wasn't clear." Sarah blithers some more, "No, it's my fault. I mean, of course you have plans, why wouldn't you? What was I thinking?" That's just it, you weren't thinking. Archer tells her it's all right, and that he confirmed it was okay for him to bring a third. "A third?" Sarah asks. On cue, a well-dressed older woman walks into the room, saying, as she closes a gold compact, "There is not a single bathroom in this entire apartment with decent lighting. You are such a bachelor, Arch." Spying Sarah, she says, "Oh, hello!" Archer introduces them, "Elizabeth Oswald-Kates, Sarah Reeves Merrin." "Hyphenated?" Elizabeth asks. "What? Oh, no," Sarah answers. Elizabeth tells her how glad she is that Sarah will be joining them. Sarah begins her pitiful blather about how there has been a mistake and that she is intruding on Archer's life and she would rather be by herself than with them. Jeez, just because she can't have the undivided attention of a man who's old enough to be her father, she's gotta wimp out? Princess complex, anyone? Both Archer and Elizabeth try to convince her, but Sarah insists on not joining them. Archer tells her to at least stay in his apartment, and let his manservant, Peter, look after her. Sarah agrees.

Platypus and Joss are pigging out in front of the TV, listening to talk about possible Y2K disasters. Platypus starts on a tangent that if everything Y2K-related that is predicted to happen actually happens -- no cash, unemployment, depression -- her life will not have changed a bit. Can you hear the violin strings?

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Time of Your Life

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