Why didn't they just name it "The Time Jennifer Love Hewitt's Ego Got So Big It Made The Twenty-Pound Turkey Look Like Barbie's Left Nostril"? I. Just. Can't. Deal. I'm warning you all, gentle readers, I am in a very foul mood after having to watch this, so this is not going to be pretty. A further warning: Jennifer Love Hewitt is in every single scene.
There was definite foreshadowing that the show was going to be even more awful than all the other episodes put together when Sarah's giggle was back doing the opening voice-over. She starts off by saying, "Here's what you need to know: these are the men in my life." She lists Spencer, Maguire, and Tony and their various reasons for loving her and getting involved with her. Need I go on? But I must go on, because what she says about Scraggle is pathetic: "And of course there's Maguire, who's definitely interested and wants to help me any way he can." Of course there's the kicker at the end of the intro: "To think, I've only been here a month!" I cannot believe that the script has been written this way, unless the writers were aiming at alienating the entire female population. ["'Female'? Try just 'the entire population.'" -- Sars]
The show opens with Sarah darting across a traffic-clogged street wearing a woolly slouch hat and very little else. She stops in front of a homeless guy, who is gesturing with his arms, and she offers him money. He declines, saying, "No, no, no charity." Sarah apologizes, saying that she didn't want to offend him. The homeless stranger tells her that he's been waiting for her, because he could hear her coming "a long way off," and then he comments that "it's a cold day today," with which Sarah agrees, "Yeah, God, really cold." Now this I find rather singular, because she is wearing a scarf, a hat, and a leather jacket which she has left wide open to expose her tightly-bound dinners in a thin tee-shirt. Yeah, Sarah, it's "really cold" when you wear such scanty clothing. The homeless guy makes a comment about sound traveling slower in cold weather and then explains the physics behind it. Sarah asks the guy if he has a place to go when it's cold, and he tells her that he goes where he's needed. Sarah is a bit thick and doesn't understand this. The homeless guy explains, "It's the music. Everybody has music. Everything a vibration, a tone. You have a very pure, very strong music." I think I am going to be violently and noisily ill. Sarah tells the Music Man that she is about to go into a restaurant for a hamburger and asks if he wants one. He tells her, "No pickles." She does The Giggle and says, "No pickles." Music Man continues his arm-waving after her, which now looks like conducting.