Joss and TD&H are having a drink together, and TD&H comments that the bar could benefit from a superior sound system. Joss asks if TD&H wants to sing something, and he tells her that he doesn't sing but he bets she's got a beautiful voice. What's this? A guy actually worshipping a female besides Sarah on this show? Unheard of. Joss tells him she's a great dancer, "in case you were wondering." TD&H says, "Well, never let it be said that I can't take a hint." And they get up.
Meanwhile, Sarah has brought Arty Male to the bar. "You sure you don't mind?" she asks. "No, hey, if you gotta work, you gotta work," Arty Male answers her. Arty Male grabs his sketch pad and tells her that she might inspire him to do some work himself. Sarah acts like she doesn't know what he's talking about: "What?" Arty Male tells her that it's the way the light falls to the base of her neck. "You're -- you're going to sketch me right here?" Sarah asks, shuddering with pleasure that she's found another male to idolize her. Arty Male hushes her and tells her not to move. Sarah tells him she's going to have to move sometime -- "people have a tendency not to tip a stationary waitress." Arty Male, who I am now going to call Sketch to go for the double meaning, tilts Sarah's chin and begins to draw. That's it, time to break out the big guns: vodka. I loathe vodka, and it's a testament to how much agony I'm in that I would even contemplate befouling my taste buds with it.
Joss and TD&H are dancing, and TD&H is telling Joss about a club that plays great music. Joss asks how late it's open. TD&H stumbles over this, and Joss asks him if he turns into a pumpkin at 10:30. TD&H tells him his mother does. "You live with your mother?" Joss asks. "Well, actually no, she's just baby-sitting," TD&H explains. Joss: "Baby-sitting? You have a baby-sitter?" TD&H: "My daughter does, she's eight." Joss finally understands, and TD&H says that he knows he should have mentioned it before, but he thought that if he got Joss to like him, she wouldn't mind his having a daughter. TD&H says, "I guess I blew it, huh? Damn." And he just looks so sincere and cute. "Eight, you said?" Joss asks. "Maybe you should introduce us."
At the Platypus Mound, Sling Fling is typing at a laptop and Platypus is pacing behind him. She asks him when his deadline is, and he tells her midnight. "Oh my God, this is so exciting. I had no idea theater reviewing was such a tension-filled, high-pressure business," Platypus babbles. Jeez, shut up! The man's trying to write. You obviously learned nothing from your left-hook-to-the-right-eye experience. Sling Fling mutters something about comparing theatre-reviewing to hostage negotiations. Platypus leans over to look at the screen and says, "Let's see what you've got." She reads out what he wrote and tells him she thinks it's a little polite. Sling Fling tells her, "Yeah, I'm not a show-how-clever-I-am-trash-the-thing-mercilessly kind of guy." Well, then don't ever apply for a job at MBTV. Platypus decides to show off: "Here's what I would have said: 'The cast's Irish brogues were thick -- unfortunately, not thick enough to obscure what they were saying, as I always prefer the unintelligible to the unbearable.'" I guess sheis a show-how-clever-I-am-trash-the-thing-mercilessly kind of girl. Except replace "clever" with "annoying." Good way to work off her rage against the business that won't employ her as an actress. Sling Fling laughs, gets up from his computer, and tells her to take over. "Really? What'll you give me? I'm a highly-trained professional, I don't work for free," Platypus purrs. Sling Fling says, "Okay." Platypus is surprised: "You'll pay me?" Sling Fling tell her he will. Platypus is in the middle of asking what a theater reviewer makes when Sling Fling kisses her. Guess that's what he meant by payment. Platypus, still in theater critic mode, says, "The kiss was surprising but on the whole --" and she's interrupted by another kiss. Can I just say how repulsed I was by the loud, slurpy smooch noises that came across on the soundtrack? What did they do, stick a mic in her beak?