Time of Your Life

Episode Report Card
Keckler: D | 524 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The time they had cybersex

J.B., in his Western get-up (which includes chaps, mind you), jogs over to Scraggle and drops a hat on his head: "Okay, it's almost five, put your hat on." Scraggle looks annoyed. Two teenagers approach, "Um, hi," one says, while the other one interrupts, "She wants you to dance with her!" The first one squeals, "Omigod, shut up!" J.B. smiles, "You girls want to request a song?" "Yeah, can you be sure to play 'As Long as You Love Me'? 'Cause she wants to ask geek boy to dance," the first one says. Predictably, the second one squeals, "Omigod I do not and he's not a geek." Let me get this straight: J.B. is "geek boy"? J.B. tells her he'll play it right now. "No way, not 'til after dinner when the dancing starts!" one of the girls says. "Dinner?" J.B. says out loud. Okay, how stupid are you, buddy? Bar Mitzvah Mom comes over and tells the girls to sit down to dinner. J.B. asks her if they aren't starting at five. The Mom tells him not until after dinner: "like six, six-thirty. So when you're done setting up, go and grab some food, okay?" and she walks away. J.B. freaks out about their other gig starting at eight, and Scraggle makes no move to help. J.B. decides to run over to the other place to set up the speakers. Scraggle just shakes his head.

Sarah helps Ashley set up a baby crib as Ashley reads off names from a baby book. Ashley suggests "Ginger Halloway," but Sarah tells her it's "too Spice Girl-y." Ashley sighs, so Sarah hurriedly tells her if the name works for her she should go with it. Ashley shakes her head, her mouth full of ice cream: "It has to work for you too." Sarah looks at her, "It does?" Ashley rolls her eyes, "Well, du-uh!" Aw, that's kind of sweet, but Sarah has to kill the moment by trying to convince us she's an intellectual. "Forget about picking a name out of a book. What about a character you love, like Rosalind from As You Like It? [I know that Jennifer Love Hewitt had never seen, read, or even pronounced the syllables "As You Like It" before she read the script for this episode.] Ooh! and a boy," Sarah continues, "Ah, Catcher in the Rye, Holden!" Here is where I inhaled and choked on my wine and sat coughing, helpless, as Mr. keckler said sarcastically, "Yeah, she had to mention the book in case we might have thought she was talking about her previous co-star in Sabrina, William Holden." Then he noticed I was choking to death and asked if I was okay. No, I am not okay. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I will be deemed a philistine, but I never got what all the ballyhoo was over Catcher in the Rye. All I recall from the damn book was a lot of "phony" and "sonofabitch" sprinkled throughout. Not to mention the fact that I read the thing in high school but didn't quite catch on to the fact that Holden was in a loony bin until about seven years later when it came up in conversation for some reason. So maybe I'm bitter because I feel stupid, but whatever the reason, I preferred Salinger's short stories anyway. Okay, I've had my say about that subject. It's just that TV shows and movies today will keep heralding that novel in all occasions. I'm done. I promise. ["I'm not -- do you know how many Hollywood types who fancy themselves intellectuals have named their kids 'Holden'? Dennis Miller, I'm looking at you. Yuck." -- Sars] Ashley really takes to the name Holden and tells Sarah they have to decide on curtains. Sarah smiles smugly to herself.

Time of Your Life

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