WGE. The clan is reading the will. Jack has been named the new CEO while the "rest of the children, including his ex-wife" get to share the estate. Jack accepts his new position, but Jenny wonders why there was no mention of Heather. Peter believes that Dad obviously didn't trust Heather and therefore didn't include her. "Or didn't have the time," Chandler gripes. Nonetheless, Heather's the only one who can contest the will, Peter points out, and seeing as she's not here....Oh here she is now, and she's had the time to wrap something burgundy and dead around her neck. Very fetching. She introduces Alex Littman of Littman, Adler, and Klein. He presents the new will and suggests that it was kept hidden because Richard suspected that his wishes would not have been carried out. Whatever happened to attorney-client privilege? Even wilder is that Alex Littman of Littman, Adler, and Klein, was an old Navy buddy of Richard's. Perhaps they used to stock the t-shirt shelves together. The wills are compared and found to be identical, except that in the new one Heather is afforded an equal share with all the surviving dependents, and Richard stipulated that she could remain in the house as long as she wants. Hmmm, who could have seen that coming?
Heather returns to the house, and her first order of business is to fire that saucy maid Lucille. And we were just getting to know her, too. Edward the butler gladly smooches Heather's butt and starts bringing her bags back up to her room. He also eagerly complies with her request to "draw her a bath." Way to stay hip with the lingo, boys!
David's apartment. Jenny's asleep when David arrives. He smells smoke and rushes to the kitchen. Oh no! Boozy (from now on this is Jenny's new name, I think) let the brownies burn. She's such a hopeless screw-up. "No, no, no," David protests. "You can do anything you want." Plus, he loves her. Boozy wants to know if he means it, or if he's just saying that to make her feel better. He only says things he means. And as long as she's honest with him, he adds, she can stay as long as she wants. She promises to be honest: "Go ahead. Ask me anything." David wants to know if she loves him too. She does, with all her soul and all her mind and whatever room's left in her rapidly deteriorating liver.