Titans

Episode Report Card
Benzoate: C | 431 USERS: C+
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Dysfunction Junction

Back at the hangar, Jack is preparing to leave and Gwen barely makes it there on time. She gets all warm and mushy with him again, asking, "What is this feeling whenever you're here?" Jack says nothing. "Why do you always have to leave?" she persists. Jack says nothing. "Are you running away from me?" she demands. Did Jack forget his lines? Jack gives Gwen a meaningless kiss on the cheek and boards his Williams Aviation jet. I hope it's not one of those that were made by the guy who designs his planes like cars (from last week).

Back at Chandler's place, Samantha barges into his room. Doesn't she ever knock? She breaks down and confesses that she tried to change Chandler's mind. He forgives her because "no one's been thinking clearly on this." Certainly none of these actors were thinking when they signed on to this show. Chandler's the one she's loyal to. Chandler's the one who inspired her. She cried for a whole week in the treehouse when he left for school. Chandler's moved to kiss her. They smooch passionately until the phone starts ringing and he breaks off, explaining, "We can't do this; we're not kids anymore." Hey buddy, you moved in on her. Typical guy mind-fuck. Samantha leaves and Chandler picks up the phone. It's Heather. She's having morning sickness. Worse, Hawaii reminds her of what they shared two months ago. She wants to hear his voice. She's been having these feelings and wants to know if he shares them. He doesn't, and furiously hangs up. Richard catches her on her cell phone and asks whom she was talking too. She explains that she was just checking her messages. Good cover. She complains that she just wants to get back to Los Angeles and start living their life together. Richard, the pussy-whipped tycoon gives in and promises that they'll leave the next day. As they hug, Heather gives us one last conniving mug for the camera.

Next week's show: "Guess Who's Chumming to Dinner." Is this the shark-hunting episode? First of all, there's a new Titan on the scene; it's Gwen's nephew. The show has only been on for two episodes and they're already pulling out the Brady Bunch Cousin Oliver trick? Heather throws water or something on Peter and later shows up at Chandler's door in a soaking-wet gold bikini. Can Chandler resist? Can you? See you next week.

Titans

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