Titans

Episode Report Card
Benzoate: C | 431 USERS: C+
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Dysfunction Junction

WGE -- The two SAG-ordered minority characters, Samantha and Scott, share a moment of solidarity in the corporate hallways. He's dropping off the new plans. She believes them to be a week late, when they are in fact a week early. Easy mistake for her to make. After all, she's an Ivy-Leaguer. She opens the door to Richard's office to find Peter getting a little too comfy in Papa Bear's chair. Not only does he want the chair and the bed, he's after the porridge as well. He asks Samantha a question we've all been asking since last week: why is she so loyal to Richard? Gwen is the one who paid her tuition at Brown. So why, with an MBA, is she content to manage the house and Richard's life when Richard has never promoted her? Peter makes an offer for Samantha to jump to the ranks of junior executives. Unfortunately she'll have to jump his bones first. Chandler saves the day by arriving in the nick of time. Unfortunately, he's chosen to wear something from the Don Johnson Miami Vice line -- lots of light-colored jackets with pastel t-shirts. Yuck. Anyway, someone called an emergency meeting of the WGE Board of Directors.

Clan Williams arrives, including Uncle Jack. Peter has called this emergency meeting to discuss the dot-com business Richard's handing over to Heather. Peter believes that he can kill the whole deal. Chandler views the very meeting as a betrayal to their beloved patriarch. Laurie's reviewed the company's prospectus and worries that it might be a money pit. Thanks, Laurie. If we need an opinion on how to get a whiskey sour stain out of one's blouse, we'll call you. Chandler appears to be the lone dissenting voice. Peter gives him two days to change his mind and do what's best for the family.

Back in Hawaii, Richard carries Heather into the honeymoon suite (remember them? They were Canada's low-rent answer to Bon Jovi -- "Wave Babies" ruled!). Funny how it looks like the exact same room she and Chandler occupied over two months ago. More likely it's just the same set. Being there conjures up memories of jogging side by side with Chandler in the surf. Looks like another mix-up in the editing room at NBC as a slow motion clip from Yasmine's Baywatch days is spliced into tonight's episode. "Look at us run, so carefree. Check out how hot I am in that bikini. Can you believe my breasts are real? Look at them bounce up and down like that. The fake ones don't do that, you know; they're very rigid and hard to remove, I hear. Now we're rolling around in the surf. Nothing like a salt water enema to turn me on." The memories cause her to sniff the lei around her neck. Apparently it's started to go bad because a bellhop interrupts her fantasy sequence asking if he can put the lei in the fridge for her. She snaps at the bellhop and Richard catches her cattiness. She apologizes. It's just that she loves Richard sooo much and wants to make love to him sooo much that it's put her in a cranky mood when it comes to the help.

Titans

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