Dysfunction Junction

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Benzoate: C- | Grade It Now!
Dysfunction Junction

Back at the beach, David runs into Laurie again (see? GPS tracking system). Apparently in the past day or so, David has really motivated Jenny. He's been "motivating" her, all right. I just noticed that Laurie's right eye is noticeably larger than her left. David thinks that the two of them have a lot in common, but Laurie sets him straight: "Our relationship is about business and nothing else." That's fine with him, he's busy "motivating" Jenny. Ouch!!

Cut to WGE. The papers are placed in front of Peter but unlike most businessmen, he brags, he's actually going to read it first. I guess like most businessmen, he doesn't have a crew of lawyers to check it out first. Chandler shows up to rub salt in Peter's wounds and to make sure that their father's orders are carried out. The papers are signed and just like that, Heather owns Dress2K. If I haven't already mentioned it, nobody has said one word about what this hundred-million company does in the first place. With a vague and stupid name like "Dress2K," we can't even guess what it is or what it does. ["Crap-ass companies have gotten start-up capital with less. Sad, that." -- Wing Chun] Samantha runs into Gwen in the hall and apologizes for not being able to talk Chandler into changing his mind. Gwen reminds her that emotions are a powerful thing. Still quoting from the trilogy, I see. Peter is very upset and confronts Gwen as to why her help never came. Ma Williams takes her son to task over his immaturity and warns him to "lose with dignity and a modicum of grace." You know what? That was a pretty good line. Bravo, Titans writers! You were bound to hit the side of the barn sooner or later.

Back at the hangar, Jack is preparing to leave and Gwen barely makes it there on time. She gets all warm and mushy with him again, asking, "What is this feeling whenever you're here?" Jack says nothing. "Why do you always have to leave?" she persists. Jack says nothing. "Are you running away from me?" she demands. Did Jack forget his lines? Jack gives Gwen a meaningless kiss on the cheek and boards his Williams Aviation jet. I hope it's not one of those that were made by the guy who designs his planes like cars (from last week).

Back at Chandler's place, Samantha barges into his room. Doesn't she ever knock? She breaks down and confesses that she tried to change Chandler's mind. He forgives her because "no one's been thinking clearly on this." Certainly none of these actors were thinking when they signed on to this show. Chandler's the one she's loyal to. Chandler's the one who inspired her. She cried for a whole week in the treehouse when he left for school. Chandler's moved to kiss her. They smooch passionately until the phone starts ringing and he breaks off, explaining, "We can't do this; we're not kids anymore." Hey buddy, you moved in on her. Typical guy mind-fuck. Samantha leaves and Chandler picks up the phone. It's Heather. She's having morning sickness. Worse, Hawaii reminds her of what they shared two months ago. She wants to hear his voice. She's been having these feelings and wants to know if he shares them. He doesn't, and furiously hangs up. Richard catches her on her cell phone and asks whom she was talking too. She explains that she was just checking her messages. Good cover. She complains that she just wants to get back to Los Angeles and start living their life together. Richard, the pussy-whipped tycoon gives in and promises that they'll leave the next day. As they hug, Heather gives us one last conniving mug for the camera.

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