Titans
Frisky Business

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Sex, Lies, and Videotape

Laurie is in the pool with Ethan (Laurie's in the pool I know-oh-oh-oh) when the pool phone rings. Jenny's got a proposition for Laurie: Jenny wants to handle the franchising presentation for the Aussies. But she's never done anything like this before. She doesn't want Laurie's permission, she wants her blessing. Laurie agrees, as long as Jenny spends the next forty-eight hours working on it. Jenny agrees, but she needs to have sex with David one more time first. She drops the phone, forgetting to turn it off and Laurie is forced to hear their moaning and groaning over the phone.

Back to the god-awful jet interior. Scott, Mark, and Chandler are bonding like old school chums. Chandler loves flying -- so much so that he even considers re-upping with the Navy. Scott is horrified. Williams Aviation needs him. Still, Chandler is clearly perplexed; you can tell, because he makes that face whenever he's got a long line with lots of big words.

Dominique's -- the restaurant of choice for the Titans. Peter and Samantha are seated at a table. "Are you insane?" Samantha asks. "Gwen and Heather at the same table? They're like oil and water -- they hate each other." Memo to the Brown University Metaphor Department: Dogs and cats hate each other; oil and water don't mix. Peter has invited the two Mrs. Williams under the ruse of brokering the peace. Why? Because it's the right thing to do. Gwen arrives first, and she and Peter do the French kiss-kiss thing. Heather arrives soon afterward wearing a red tube frock that Chrissy from Three's Company would have left in the closet. Speaking of closets, Peter announces that he wants to find a compromise between Mom getting $20 million for her resorts and Heather getting squat for Dress2K. Last week, the number was $15 million for each resort. Peter "worries" that a feud between divisions would be bad for "all of us." His plan, as told by Samantha, is to phase in the renovations starting with the smaller resorts and working up to the flagship -- the Hana Winstar. Heather slips up by noting that the Hana Winstar is just fine. Peter's got her, as only a shark can. When was Heather at the Hana Winstar? he wonders. Um, no, not her, her friends went, and said it was great. Peter won't let go. When were Heather's friends there? Um, a couple of months ago. Gwen excuses herself and Heather beats a hasty retreat while there's a diversion. I have to take a pee myself.

Tonight's surprise sponsor is Gold Bond medicated powder -- for all of those itchy, infected areas you don't want to discuss with the pharmacist.

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