Titans
Frisky Business

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Sex, Lies, and Videotape

WGE. Dead-eyed Heather's staring straight ahead at the cue cards, reading, "You forget, Peter: your father bought Dress2K for me to run." Peter admires her tenacity in the face of defeat, as well as her ability to redundantly restate the obvious. How does he think Richard's going to feel when he discovers that Peter is blackmailing his wife? Ah, but you see, he'll never know, because Heather will tell everybody that she came running to Peter for help, no matter how incredible it sounds. It may be a hard sell, but even with her shaky acting chops, Richard should buy it. She suddenly begs for mercy, but none is forthcoming: he's on a schedule. "You're going to regret this," Heather warns. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just sign the damn papers. She does sign and we notice the little touches, like Peter making it easier for her to find the signature line by affixing those little yellow "sign here" stickers.

Jenny sits alone in Gwen's kitchen. Ethan walks in and wonders why she's not out with David. Jenny's got a migraine, so Laurie did her a solid by going out in her place. Migraine or hangover? Ethan wonders. He aslo knows what it's like to hide something. Oh yeah? Like what? Well, his father used to beat him so badly that he couldn't swim in the local swimmin' pond for fear that everyone would see the bruises. Can I just say here that I racked my brains out trying to come up with a good child-abuse joke? Good taste won out. Damn political correctness.

David and Laurie walk along a romantically lit promenade next to a fountain. They're arguing over whether or not Laurie cried during Death of a Salesman. Who apart from an English student willingly goes to see Death of a Salesman? ["But -- Brian Dennehy plays Willy!" -- Wing Chun] Anyway, Laurie maintains that she did not cry, but David jams his finger into her eye and smudges her eyeliner. Okay, maybe she cried, maybe she cried a lot -- so what? She's not the ice queen everybody makes her out to be. She knows that's what people say behind her back. No, they don't; not to David, anyway. He thinks that she likes to portray a tough businesswoman who has stifled her own spontaneity. "Spontaneity," eh? She'll show him. Laurie pushes David backward into the fountain. He pulls the old "oh, my back" routine, and as she reaches to help, he yanks her in with him. The two laugh and splash and splash and laugh until things become deadly serious. Before things get any wetter, she suggests that they leave.

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