Titans

Episode Report Card
Benzoate: C+ | 471 USERS: C+
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Payback's A Bitch

Big Bad Voodoo Daddy is getting their cameo over with while Peter and Samantha swing, baby, swing! Ah, young love. Heather asks to borrow Peter for a minute. She's heard about Samantha's being in her office earlier. As punishment, she revokes Samantha's stay-over privileges. I'm not kidding. His punishment is that Samantha is no longer allowed to sleep over at Peter's. Heather reminds him that, in their arrangement, mercy is neither given nor received. I can see why she doesn't want to give any, but why would she forbid mercy's being given to her? Before she can say anything else stupid, she spies her dead husband's adopted son and makes a beeline for him. After a lengthy smooch, Heather surprises Chandler with the news that she has his money! She declines to say from where and that seems sufficient for dull-eyed Chandler.

It's nighttime, and Laurie rushes into Jenny's room; Jenny's thrashing about in her bed. Perhaps she's being disturbed at the thought of unemployment checks so close to the holidays. Laurie attempts to comfort her as Jenny reveals her dream. There was a bridge, and David was there, soaking wet and looking all guilt-ridden. (I'm quoting verbatim here, people.) In the dream, he told Jenny that it was over and that he was in love with someone else. More black and white flashbacks from last week's episode. In the dream, Jenny had no choice but to jump into oblivion, much as her career's going to do after this show wraps. Laurie assures her that there's always Days of Our Lives, and that David loves her. They both do. She puts her arms around her sister, who's making that shit-disturbing face again.

We're on the wrong side of the tracks at Samantha's apartment, and she wants to know why she and Peter knocked boots at her place rather than in the opulent splendor of the Williams mansion with its fancy running hot water. Is Peter ashamed of Samantha? Far from it. Banging her is one of his proudest achievements. He opens her closet to reveal a dartboard, with Heather's Women's Style Magazine cover, hanging with dart holes all over the place. Obsessed much, Samantha? Maybe it would be best if the two of them got out of town for a few days to relax. Samantha vows that she's not going anywhere until Heather's on a bus back to Hooterville. Huhhuh, she said "hooter." Peter looks very concerned at his Hispanic honey.

Titans

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