Payback's A Bitch

Episode Report Card
Benzoate: C | 1 USERS: A+
Payback's A Bitch

Heather plays the embezzlement conversation for Chandler in the hangar. He can't believe it. There must be some other explanation for it. Didn't she see Mission Impossible II? Maybe Tom cruise was impersonating Heather. It could happen. Heather reminds him that he is now an accomplice to her crimes. Don't worry, he'll figure it out and find a way to repay the money even if it means turning over his paycheck for the Omega Code sequel. Samantha regrets ever coming to him out of her old sense of loyalty.

Next day. Peter storms into Heather's office and slams a flyer down on her desk. What the hell is it? he demands to know. It's a promotional flyer for the El Monte Dinner Theatre's presentation of The Man of La Mancha starring Peter's fake first love, Maureen Keller. Her picture is right there on the fyer. As Heather wallows in her machinations, we get a close-up of the recorder, taping away. To that end, Heather needlessly retells the entire episode from last week regarding Peter's falsified tale of love, manufactured to get Samantha into the sack. Peter rips up the flier and states that they're even. "Oh, no, Peter -- we're not even until I say we're even." Close-up on the recorder so that the audience can see for themselves that the red recording light is on. She really loves torturing him. She compares it to good sex -- she can never get enough. "You're a sadist," he accuses. "And you're a masochist," she replies. "Together we make the perfect pair. There actually appears to be a bit of sexual tension here, and for this show that's saying something. Heather dismisses him, but not before making him lick her high heels.

David's back in the shower. Is that all he ever does these days? Jenny walks into the bathroom again. This time the shower doors are free of any fog and it's obvious that he's alone this time. She removes her bra, but for some reason leaves her panties on. Something else that will need to be addressed in counseling. She opens the door and David looks less than thrilled to see her, but there aren't too many guys who are going to kick a hot naked chick out of the shower. "I've been dreaming about this my whole life," Jenny purrs. I don't see the big deal. She's had shower sex with him on a number of occasions in past episodes. Maybe she means while sober.

Samantha summons Peter to her office. She's got something important to tell him. She reveals the listening device and informs him of Heather's misappropriation of funds. He points to the recorder and stupidly assumes that "that's from today and you haven't listened to it yet?" What kind of idiot does he think she is? Oh! He's right. She's been sitting on it for eight hours so they could enjoy the tape together. Before she has a chance to hit play, he grabs the recorder from her hands. He can't let her do it. He can't let her engage in corporate espionage. Peter gives one of the least convincing speeches on morality ever, warning her that they could both be fired if anyone knew of the illegal recording. Samantha doesn't care: "If Heather goes down then to hell with the consequences." It's not worth destroying the precious relationship that she and Peter share. He advises her to find another source of confirmation. As he gently comforts her with his caring arms, he crushes the disc in his hands. His secret is safe...for now.

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