Titans
Pilot

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Meet the Titans
Back at Richard's mansion, we discover Samantha ogling a swimming Chandler from her office window. Peter enters uninvited with drink #3. He makes some awkward advances, including the can't-miss move of mocking the socioeconomic status of the neighborhood where Samantha lives. It's four tax brackets away...actually, that's a pretty good one. Man, he gets all the good lines. Peter then states the obvious: "You know how I feel about you, don't you?" She does, but he's not her type. He then recovers brilliantly: "If you think I have some sort of mad crush on you, you're wrong. I could care less." Hey buddy, you just told her five seconds ago that you wanted her! Peter finally notices the swimming Chandler and makes the unlikely connection that Samantha pines for him. Peter warns her against loving Chandler, who will either quit, fail or rebel. The Navy will do that to a man. We're back at the boat, where Billy and Jenny are finishing up their sex. Jenny's got to rush back to the club because Laurie's going to be pissed. I guess there are glasses to wash. After three weeks, Jenny feels that it's time for him to meet the family, and she invites him to the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night. In case she didn't say so during the sex, she now states how fantastic Billy was. She promises, "Next time I'll let you take the boat out." Is that some sort of metaphor for some position I'm not aware of? Jenny hops in her Mercedes and speeds off, right passed a lurking Laurie. Laurie gets out and approaches Billy's Boat, The Monica. At first, I assume that she's going to let Billy "take the boat out," but she's just there to threaten Billy never to see Jenny again because she knows something about him that nobody else knows. Is he gay? Does he wax his chest? I hope they clear this up after the commercial. Big men with boxes are moving in and out of Richard's mansion, and Heather is overseeing the entire operation. Chandler passes through on his way to the hangar, and you could barely tell that he once had a meaningful one-week affair with his soon-to-be stepmother. She privately thanks him for not squealing to Richard. He explains that he's not doing her any favors, and that the only reason he's keeping mum (no pun intended) is to protect his father's happiness; she had just better not hurt Richard the way she hurt Chandler. At this point, Chandler must already be applying some aerodynamics to his scalp; his hair is currently defying gravity. Samantha arrives to ask Heather what she's doing by moving in a week early. "Oh you know, some this week, some next," Heather explains. Furthermore, Heather believes that she should be the one managing the household once the marriage is official. Even though Samantha is the one with the MBA and is clearly more qualified, she acquiesces. The mail arrives, delivered by a butler on a silver platter, no less. Heather grabs it and discovers a misdirected letter. Samantha offers to take care of it, but Heather's got her own plans.

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Titans

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