Is anyone shocked at how much NBC is spending on hyping NBCi.com? Dress2K.com has got a better chance at succeeding. ["Actually, I read in Entertainment Weekly that Media Metrix lists NBCi.com among the top five most popular TV sites on the web, though I'm sure I don't know why." -- Wing Chun]

Williams Global. Gwen paces back and forth at the elevators. Samantha arrives with financial information showing that the hotels are in the black. If Gwen wanted a weapon against Jack's vetoing the renovation plan, this is it. Meanwhile, Jack is leaving his office with a slutty-looking blonde tramp-type chick in tow. He introduces her as Margot DuPruis (shot). It's bonjours all around (shot, shot, shot). Gwen admires Margot for her magnificent IPO. Did I mention that Money magazine recently congratulated Time Warner on its fabulous merger with AOL? The actress playing Margot sounds like she just finished an accent lab since she's dropping "zees," "allos," and "au revoirs" all over the place. If you're still playing along, you should be rip-roaring drunk after Margot exits. Gwen wants to know what this French vulture is doing here. Jack leads them into a board meeting and announces that DuPruis has made an all-cash offer for the Beverly and he thinks they should accept. Gwen would sooner rot in hell than sell the flagship hotel. Furthermore, she wasn't consulted. Jack warns her about getting all dewy-eyed and nostalgic, but before this fight escalates any more, Heather arrives. She's just come back from a yard sale and it looks like Weezy Jefferson was getting rid of all her old wardrobe. Now I know you've all had a lot to drink, but follow along with this if you can. Sitting at home mourning the loss of her child has actually made her feel worse (worse than actually losing it?). The wound is still too fresh (ewwww!). She needs some cheering up and the best way would be to come back to DressLikeAWhore.com and work for Samantha. Jack does one of his notorious 180-degree turns that have become the beloved characteristic of every one of the characters on this show: he welcomes Heather back. Peter objects. He believes that if you took a silent poll, Jack would find that he does not speak for the rest of the family. "I agree with Peter," Gwen chips in. Shut up Gwen, he said "silent poll." Peter praises Samantha's hard work and ends up using an analogy that unflatteringly compares Heather and Samantha to tugboats. Jack is unmoved: "The woman just lost her child! She stays."