Titans
Secrets And Thighs

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A Date With Danger

Peter parks his Porsche in Maureen's driveway and enters the house. He hands her over a thousand bucks and reminds her that she never paid him for last month's rent. "A smart girl," she threatens, "might mention that he's hired an actress [yes, but not a good one] to manufacture his sick little fantasy." A smart actress would have predicted this show's imminent cancellation and stayed the hell away from it. Just in case the smart viewers haven't figured it out yet, Maureen kids Peter about creating this fake house, fake wife and fake family all to get a little sex. All right, let's analyze this for a second. Peter owns a property where he hired an actress to live in the house and push around a fake baby in a carriage on the slim chance that Samantha might want to go with him to his secret place and listen to his made-up tale of woe. Wouldn't it have been easier and cheaper just to tell Samantha about "Maureen" rather than showing her?

Chandler's on one of his head-clearing jogs when he stumbles across Heather's BMW parked akimbo. At least the writers remember to keep the cars the same from episode to episode. ["I'm sure that credit belongs to the production designer." -- Wing Chun] He finds her tending to a little white terrier that's been hit by a car and left for dead. Chandler lifts it up and they are presumably headed for the vet. Unless, of course, they plan on eating it.

Jenny, meanwhile, is going through Gwen's medicine cabinet looking for anything to get her high. She even picks up a Chapstick and peers at it hopefully before dropping it. She finally finds what she's looking for -- downers. Gwen catches her in the act, and before Jenny can think up a good excuse, Gwen accuses her of being strung out. "You're using again!" Gwen exclaims, and then states that Jenny's breaking Gwen's heart. Out of nowhere, Jenny admits to breaking up the family -- that's why she's such a screw-up. Gwen wants to know what Jenny's talking about. Seven years ago, Jenny spied Richard and his mistress at the beach house. She then told Gwen about it and they got a divorce. Cry, cry ,cry. If it hadn't been for Jenny, Richard and Gwen would still be together and Richard would still be alive. Gwen assures her that the marriage was on the outs before Jenny saw or said anything. The two collapse in a heap of hugs together, and it looks like everything's going to be just fine...until next week.

Pulse Club. The elements weren't cooperating with Spelling Entertainment, so they had to fake the rain for the exterior shot. It looks very cheesy. When we move to the delivery entrance of the club, it's very obvious that a rain truck is providing the precipitation. You can even see the sun shining brightly in the background. David is ordering the grunts where to put the supplies when Laurie arrives, soaked to the bone. Speaking of bones, David tries to explain why he gave his to Jenny even after he proclaimed his lust for Laurie. She doesn't care. The relationship they never had is over...until next week.

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