Titans

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Benzoate: C | 495 USERS: C+
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"Do not have sexual relations with your father's wife; that would dishonor your fathe

Pulse is closed, and David's drying some martini glasses. Jenny suggests that it's ironic that she would rather have David than all the booze in the bar. Now Jenny, remember from last week -- it's only ironic if you're drinking chardonnay and there's a black fly in it. David asks her to leave. She says she'll go, but she doesn't move. She says she's opening the door, but she's still standing there. She says she's gone, and he can't take the teasing anymore. They start making out. Naturally, Laurie shows up, dressed to the nines (I figure somebody on this show would say something like that), to witness the whole sordid spectacle.

Richard and Heather are in bed together. She wants a baby. What? Right now? She explains that there will always be a part of him that's with Gwen until they have a baby of their own. He finds the notion preposterous. They've only been married for three weeks. Furthermore, he married her because she was a hottie and because she had an amazing body. He's barely had a chance to enjoy it, and now she's going to add a whole mess of baby fat AND go through more mood swings than she already does? No thank you. All she wants is what he and Gwen have. Richard believes that she's getting way too ahead of herself; besides, next week he'll be dead...um, dead tired, that is, from all that...work? He's right, as usual. To celebrate his setting his foot down, Richard tries to score a little morning action. She pushes him away because she's "late for work." I swear he's not getting any of the benefits of a trophy wife.

Heather's cruising down the driveway in her convertible BMW as Chandler's on his way back from his morning jog. He wants to know the scoop. She tried telling Richard, but he wouldn't go for it. Fine, he says he'll tell Richard himself. Chandler doesn't think that she tried hard enough. Furthermore, it's his opinion that all of her lying and scheming has turned her into quite the little actress. "Oh yeah, well what has it turned you into?" she asks before roaring off. I guess that sounded good in the writers' room, but it just doesn't make any sense. What has all her lying and scheming turned him into? A big wuss if you ask me.

Titans

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