Star Trek
TNG: “The Game”

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | 3 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Levels of Orgasms
While having tea with Picard, Wesley lists all his Academy instructors, some of whom the captain remembers. Aw, Picard's got the full silver tea service out -- I wanna have tea with the captain! Wesley also reveals that he took Picard's advice and met Boothby the first week he was there. Picard asks how the stereotypical cantankerous old groundskeeper is doing, and says he hopes Boothby didn't tell Wesley a bunch of stories about Picard. "He didn't remember you, sir," Wesley says, his eyes wide with innocence. Picard's face falls. "At first," Wesley adds, smiling. Punk. Wesley showed Boothby a yearbook picture; Boothby remembered him right away and said he's proud Picard is captain of the Enterprise. After sharing Boothby experiences with one another, Wesley asks Picard who "A.F." is. Picard doesn't know what he's talking about. "Boothby said he caught you carving those initials into his prized elm tree," Wesley suggests. Picard gets a hunted look on his face as he remembers, "A.F.! Oh, just an acquaintance of mine." Wesley stares steadily at him, and Picard chuckles. "Wesley," he says, "if you meet someone whose initials you might want to carve into that elm tree, don't let it interfere with your studies. I failed organic chemistry because of A.F." How about don't carve your initials into the elm tree because it's mean and the tree will die? Wesley grins toothily at Picard. Just then, Mother Crusher comms Picard that she has a medical emergency. Picard bustles off to Sickbay. Sickbay. Mother Crusher tells Picard a whole flock of lies about Data's condition. Geordi scans Data and comments, "It's like he's in a coma." Riker suggests they check Data's files to see if he made any notes about his recent self-diagnostic. Picard agrees with everything and tells them to keep him informed. Geordi's check of Data's logs and Riker's security sweep have turned up nothing. "Maybe you should ask his cat," Riker suggests. Maybe you should shut up, sex maniac. Geordi acts stressed, so Riker tells him to take a break in Ten Forward: "I've got just the thing." Yup -- a big plate of steaming Corned Beef Slash. Open wide, Geordi! Engineering. Wesley and Lefler Geek Flirt by analyzing stuff and then teasing each other about said analysis. "You have a funny way of looking at conduit configuration," Wesley says, "but it works." "That's Law 36: You gotta go with what works," Lefler recites. Wesley asks what the heck all these laws are she keeps referring to in an annoying way. "There my personal laws -- every time I learn something essential, I make up a law about it so I never forget," Lefler explains. Wesley asks how many she has. "One hundred and two -- so far," Lefler responds. Dork. More technobabble. Wesley says he's way ahead of her on something that needs doing in Engineering. Dork. "They said you were good," Lefler shrugs delicately. Wesley sits back and gives her a lazy look: "Why do I get the feeling that you already know me?" Lefler says she has some friends at the Academy and his name has come up a few times, "That's really some stunt you pulled on Adam Martoni in the physics lab -- I just want to know how you got the anti-matter regulator to spray chili sauce." See, they're trying to get us to believe that Wesley is some sort of rambunctious jackanapes at the Academy. See, it's not going to work. Wesley rolls his eyes over that one, professing that there is another side to the story. "Is it true what they say about your birthmark?" Lefler continues. What -- that it's shaped like a Mandelbrot set? No, it's not true. It's actually shaped like a Julia set. "This isn't fair -- I hardly know anything about you," Wesley whines. "Hey, that's Law 46: Life isn't --" "Always fair," Wesley says in unison, "yeah, I know that law." It took her forty-five laws to realize that one? Keckler's Law 53: Shut up, Lefler. Keckler's Law 57: Shut up, Wesley. And in case you're wondering, Keckler's Law 54, 55, and 56 are also "Shut up, Wesley." Wesley says he's gotta get back to work, "But I'd like a chance to even the score. Ten Forward, nineteen hundred hours. Will you join me for coffee?" "No," Lefler says promptly, "but I'll meet you for dinner." Wesley grins at her pushy presumptiveness.

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