Top Chef Just Desserts

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Chocoholics Anonymous

Back at Top Chef (Just Desserts) kitchen, things get even wackier: THERE IS NO CHOCOLATE, PEOPLE. NO CHOCOLATE! The chefs are FREAKING OUT. Judge Johnny and his hair come in to explain why they are making this challenge so incredibly stupid. His answer explains nothing: NO CHOCOLATE, DEAL WITH IT. Okay, he adds something about it being the end of the competition and they need to know who can make it as a pastry chef without chocolate. As if! I mean, the entire point of dessert is to PUT CHOCOLATE IN MY MOUTH. Whatever. Everyone panics. Except Zac who after his frightful showing of ugly chocolate disco flowers during the quickfire challenge and the resulting punishment at the hand (and stiletto boot of Shinmin, villain) opted to never ever look at chocolate again. So he's good. Everyone else? Pure 100% unadulterated Ecuadorian PANIC. Baked Eric is trying to figure out how to represent Oprah and Stedman without chocolate. He opts for shortbread. Morganza delves deep into Kardashian to realize that Reggie Bush plays for the New Orleans Saints and can have white associated with him. Danielle is sitting pretty with her strawberry jalapeno Conan O'Brien inspired dessert. Yigit is struggling and knows that he needs to step it up, but the day is over and they have to leave the kitchen.

The next day, the chefs head to the venue and start preparing for service. Eric confesses that he hates his dessert and hopes that he can make it. Danielle is pressed for time despite not falling into the chocolate trap. Out in the dining room, Dana Cowin arrives as do the rest of the judges. Eric is in pure panic mode, which is not his usual zen-monk-doobie-smoking attitude. He's not happy. But he's up. He heads to the floor to meet the panel of judges: Johnny Iuzzine, Dana Cowin, Daily Candy Dannielle (I think they changed her title to "lifestyle critic" to make her sound vaguely relevant to the show. Didn't work.), Shinmin Lee, and, of course, Gail. Man, they get rid of all the ladies in the kitchen and suddenly have a surplus at judges' table. Estrogen in the house!

Eric presents his Stedman (rosemary shortbread with apricot compote) and his Oprah (pecan shortbread with caramel). The assessment? Too large, too messy, too boring, but delicious. Zac is next. Gail seems so desperate for a gay best friend that every time she gets in Zac's orbit she gets all wide-eyed and looks ready to z-snap and call things sassy. Anyway, Zac's Julie Andrews is a Cap'n Von Trapp Crunch with a Spoonful of Sugar on Top paired with a Pink Panther pavlova. They can be eaten separately or together in perfect harmony. Obviously everyone loves it. Danielle hits a hiccup in the kitchen and doesn't get all her plates made. She presents her strawberry jalapeno Conan O'Brien with an oatmeal bar with orange blossom water sidekick for Andy Richter. In case you were interested, the spicy flavors cleared Gail's sinuses. Other than that, people weren't sure how they felt about her flavors.

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Top Chef Just Desserts

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