Top Chef Just Desserts
Death by Chocolate

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She offers a cocoa beignet with date ganache. Johnny stares at it for a minute and the is all, "Hmm. This looks like a plated dessert. Not what I'd choose to do with a doughnut." Shut up and eat the damn doughnut, Johnny! If girlfriend wants to put her doughnut on a plate who cares? It's a free country and if you don't like it why don't you go flip through your world atlas and find a nice country that stones people for putting doughnuts on plates. Peru maybe? I don't know, because I've never given a hoot if my doughnut is on a plate. Orlando can't help but pipe up that he thinks Katzie needs to go home for giving the judges fancy food when they wanted down home cooking or something. Shut it, Orlando, you served a hot dry root beer float so no one's talking to you. Carlos serves an orange and lemon bomboloni with passion fruit cream. What is it with these chefs and passion fruit? Every other dish has passion fruit on it. Is this show secretly sponsored by the Passion fruit Council? Orlando made a spiced banana beignet with cardamom, but he never should have mentioned the cardamom, because it doesn't taste enough like cardamom and Johnny cocks an eyebrow in his general direction. Megan made a cake doughnut with a honey cardamom glaze, but then tragedy strikes: Glaze malfunction! Judge Johnny's doughnut stuck to his plate due to overly ambitious glaze. On the bright side you can taste the cardamom. Chris made a churro with raspberry jam. Sally made her doughnut sticks with an espresso glaze and caramelized cashews. The judges are very impressed with the stick shape as it allows for easy dipping. Have they just been shoving whole round doughnuts into their coffee cups for years? Are they morons? Have they never heard of maple bars? Matthew's doughnut is dry and his new life partner, Chris, is worried about him getting sent home.

As guest judge, Mark Israel gets to pick the winner. His favorites were Sally and her magical stick doughnuts and Carlos with his excellent bomboloni. Carlos takes the $10,000 and just stops short of doing a "Dolla dolla bill, yo!" dance in the middle of Top Chef kitchen. He has needs you see. Or rather he has an almost 16-year-old daughter who has needs. For a car. Then it comes time to pick a loser and, of course, Megan and her faulty frosting are in the bottom, as are Matthew and his dry doughnut and Orlando for promising cardamom and then FAILING TO DELIVER CARDAMOM. Orlando argues that he never promised them cardamom, but Johnny argues that he did in fact tell them it was a spiced doughnut with cardamom and since "doughnut" isn't a flavor, it is logical to assume cardamom was the flavor. This may be the stupidest argument I have ever recapped and I used to recap I Love Money. Orlando doesn't budge. But it doesn't matter because obviously they are sending Megan home, I mean, right? Was there any other outcome possible? No. So Megan packs her knives, expresses her regrets, and vamooses.

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Top Chef Just Desserts

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