Top Chef Just Desserts
Death by Chocolate

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Size Matters

The next day Orlando makes the brilliant and brave decision to not check on his dessert, but to focus all his attention on the chocolate showpiece. Chris is making a very simple dessert, which sounds potentially too simple compared to the 14 ingredient masterpieces that Carlos and Sally are proffering. Even if he wanted to add 7 or 10 more ingredients, he can't, because time is up.

The contestants wipe the chocolate off their hands and faces and go to await the judges in the Macy's (huh? huh?) dining room. Along with Gail and Judge Johnny are the silently unqualified Dannielle Kyrillos and Wylie Dufresne of wd~50 in New York. Carlos reminds the uninitiated who have been living under rocks and never seen any iteration of Top Chef ever that Wylie is at the forefront of the molecular gastronomy field. All I know is that he was making a mean deep-friend mayonnaise way before the deep-fried butter on a stick craze hit the country fair circuit. We should probably all write him a thank you note for that. Or maybe an Edible Arrangement is more appropriate? Once the judges are settled, Gail makes the big reveal of the showpieces. Everyone oohs and ahhs appreciatively at the showpieces' depth and height and maybe the girth if they are into that sort of thing. Chris' is very tall and wiggly with some chocolate swooping this way and some other chocolate swooping that way and then some white chocolate flowers scattered hither and yon. Orlando's piece tells the tale of chocolate from bean to snack in one glorious twisted chocolate line. It's the chocolate version of some artsy chick your brother is inadvisably dating doing an interpretative dance of the birth story she witnessed. It's not very appetizing, but you could stare for awhile. After the mutual appreciation society is finished, Chris, Matthew and Katzie (who has been extremely quiet thus far) head into the kitchen to serve up their desserts while Orlando, Carlos and Sally join the judges at the grown up table and make awkward small talk.

Katzie is nervous as service begins because her cake is not neat, which I am assuming refers to cleanliness, not neat-O-ness. Regardless, the services go on and the teammates offer up a trio of chocolate. Chris made a rather unattractive and flat brioche thingy that looks like a Pop-Tart so I wouldn't turn up my nose at it. Matthew made a chocolate tart with chiboust and caramel and compressed cherries and chocolate sorbet. It looks like something I could spend an afternoon with. Even though I have no idea what chiboust is, I am sure I could learn to love it the same way I am sure that Alexander Skarsgard could learn to love me. Katzie made a boca negra with mousse, jasmine and passion fruit (!) curd, candied violets and whipped cream glace. The judges dig in and ask Carlos what they think of Katzie's dish. He determines it is quite large. When they asked Orlando what he thought of Katzie's dessert, he lets loose with a lengthy diatribe, including that the shape wasn't clean, the dessert wasn't appealing, it was like baby food. Basically he decimated the dessert in 5000 words. The judges stared at him wide-eyed wondering if they can fire Dannielle and give Orlando the chair.

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Top Chef Just Desserts

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