Top Chef Just Desserts

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LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Buttercream is a Battlefield

Morgan's desserts are next: A pretzel stick with two types of mustard, a chocolate cake with chocolate mousse interior and crème brulee, and for the a la minute, a lemon fried pie, which I would not kick out of bed anytime soon. The judges love Morgan's dessert and appreciate his sophistication and the range. Before we can leave the bake shops, Team Diva has to be hate-able some more and talk about how great they were. They are just so arrogant one can only hope it is pride before the fall.

Judges' Table! The judges immediately call Danielle out for putting them all to sleep with her lackadaisical hosting. In short, she's boring. She apologizes profusely for it. The judges also question Eric's banana bread and he admits he couldn't remember the recipe. The judges are all over Morgan's junk for his excellent and high caliber desserts. Then they remind Danielle that her coffee pie did not taste like coffee, but she has bored herself to sleep and doesn't hear. The judges turn to Team Diva. Zac prattles on about the entire pastry shop experience and how awesome they were individually and as a team. Yigit liked the front of the house. Zac enjoyed his desserts, but the judges weren't convinced they would drink his milkshake again, which is good because, ew, dirty. Then the judges denounce Heather for using bottled key lime juice and making lousy pastry. She at least gets Yigit off the hook for screwing up his pastry, too.

The judges let Nancy Silverton give the big news: The black team won! Eric, Morgan, and Danielle look as shocked as Team Diva. They all screech and hug and make a joyful noise unto the pastry lords. Team Diva looks like they all ate a frog or something worse like grocery store birthday cake. Zac takes a moment to let us know how shocked he was because clearly he is a superior chef to Danielle. Also more humble. The judges send everyone out to the stew room as they pray to little baby Jesus on who should leave. The judges pretend that they are considering sending Zac or Yigit home, but we all know what's coming, right? Team Diva shuffles back in for judgment. Then Heather is asked to leave. She holds her head high, doesn't cry, and makes a few backhanded comments about how other people should have left first. Then Yigit breaks down in tears as Bitch Face Heather walks off into the sunset, while the Ghost of Head Bandage Heather laughs uproariously.

Melissa Locker a.k.a. Lulu Bates is sad about the Heathers. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.

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Top Chef Just Desserts

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