Top Chef Just Desserts

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Cookie Couture

Welcome back to Top Chef: Just Desserts. What did I miss? Oh right, Seth and his talking neck growth had a panic attack that looked more like paralytic psychosis and couldn't compete anymore. Then Malika recused herself because she had a conflict between the competition and her lack of personality. I would say we will miss you, but it seems mean when the only thing we will miss is mocking you while you cried over frosting. Anyway, Head Bandage Heather got to come back but almost got sent home again for baking tragedy into every bite. So when Malika left HBH breathed a tiny sigh of sorrow tinged with relief, because she kind of wanted to go home, too, but didn't want to face the double down embarrassment of getting kicked off the show twice in a row. But alas, ennui go.

In case you didn't think this was a real competition, the judges kicked it up a notch in today's Quick Fire. Or at least they want you to think that they kicked it up a notch. You see, today they are making *shudder* soufflés for Sherry Yard. In case the word alone does not send shivers running up and down your spine, each of the competitors gets a minute to explain why they are afeared of the soufflé. It must be whipped! And beaten! And removed aquiver from the oven as if it was a chicken who cruelly had all the bones removed. Zac announces that he doesn't even like soufflé because it is too light and airy. Morgan chimes in that "soufflé" actually means light and airy. Regardless of semantics, Zac is making a frozen soufflé a.k.a. a soufflé glace. Erika made a very white soufflé, while Heather namechecked Godiva chocolate so she should totally win. Yigit makes soufflé for his boyfriend, Morgan does not make soufflé for his son on Sundays, but does teach the class on soufflé at Cowboy State.

The guest judge chooses her least favorite first: Zac's frozen soufflé was not actually a soufflé and the guest judge noticed that, Heather's soufflé was no unicorn (no really, the guest judge said it), and the judge would not rest her head on Erika's white and pillowy soufflé. Danielle is thrilled by this outcome because the editors are trying to pit so-called Team Diva (Zac, Yigit, and Heather) against the rest of the contestants. Basically Team Diva are the ruling class and the bakers, parents, and head bandaged are the Buttercream Bolsheviks who will rise up and destroy their oppressors on the battleground of buttercream. But, oh shit, Yigit's soufflé won. The oppressors may have won the battle, but the proletariat shall rise up like a soufflé!

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Top Chef Just Desserts

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