Top Chef Just Desserts

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Cookie Couture

Morgan starts degrading his mannequin, Heather calls him out for being a gross human being who calls all the ladies "honey" and "darling" and he calls his mannequin a sexy bitch to prove her point. HBH is trying to explain why she thinks turnips are a good idea and she manages not to cry during her time in the confessional so I guess the Wellbutrin has kicked in. Morgan then stands around pissing everyone off by pointing out that he is done, he knows how to work with chocolate, and he looks damn fine in his peep toe pumps. Baker Eric is the least thrilled because his whole concept involves gluing cookies onto a dress form with frosting and it is not working at all. It is pretty much sad, in fact. Let's send him an Edible Arrangement and a pot brownie to cheer him up, eh?

The next morning, HBH finds that her turnips have withered, which is probably a metaphor for something tragic. She has to revamp her entire dress with merely minutes on the clock and Zac mocking her over Ranch dressing accessories and crouton accents. Eric is near meltdown because he cookie couture looks awful and his molding chocolate bodice just won't stay on. Morgan meanwhile has gone over to the dark place of almost becoming flat out offensive as he simultaneously re-affirms his heterosexuality and continues to talk about wearing the fuck me pumps, making a matching clutch, and wanting to dry hump his mannequin. Suddenly it is go time. And everyone is rushing to set up their mannequins and petit fours. HBH obviously needs help and Morgan is willing to, but only because he knows that HBH is definitely not going to win the competition. Then he mentions how hot and sexy his chocolate couture number is (again) and then roars like a cat and suddenly I want 3-D TV so I can at least pretend to strangle him with my bare hands.

Before you know it the judges are in the showroom ogling Erika's wares. Erika has a whole back story for her dress, including a day job in an office, a vision board with a Viking range on it, and playful pumps that work with the chocolate feathers and gold leaf (which accents her eyes). The dress is a solid effort and the petit four purse looks far tastier than you would expect a petit four purse to look. The judges like her use of cocoa-dusted popcorn to add texture to the dress, but Erika's petit fours are two micrometers to large and she will have to be beheaded. Or something like that. Zac is next. I'm not sure what I was expecting from big talker Zac, but I guarantee I was not imagining an extra's costume from Xena Warrior Princess. Yet, that is what he has created. In chocolate. He describes it as a burlesque warrior and swears he could have Gail in that outfit in 10 minutes. He goes to unzip her, but she stops him. Zac has made petits fours in the shape of pasties and a make up kit. This is all too much for Johnny Iuzzini who apparently is easily embarrassed. Someone should tell his hair that.

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Top Chef Just Desserts

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