Top Chef Just Desserts
Episode 2

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"The Red Hots are for My Mommy!"

Gail sends everyone over to The Tar Pit, which is a bar owned by a former contestant on Top Chef Masters because those are the only bars that can be named in the entire city that cannot be named. Mark Peel greets the contestants, but also seems somewhat surprised that they are all there, like he was expecting them tomorrow. Then Gail shows up and waits for everyone to greet her with the appropriate level of excitement even though they JUST saw her, like, five minutes ago. After her dose of self- esteem building, Gail announces that today's challenge is to create a dessert based on a cocktail. They will do all their shopping behind the bar. Everyone eyes the contents of the bar warily as they draw ...coasters (it's a bar after all) and shop in numerical order. Eric is a total dick and takes all the pineapple so I hope they short sheet his bed later. Someone else is nervous about the depleting citrus supplies, while another wants salt, and everyone avoids eye contact with their liquor of choice in case anyone else decides to take it.

Seth starts to have another mini-meltdown because THERE IS NO GRAPEFRUIT. Then he has a full meltdown because THERE IS STILL NO GRAPEFRUIT. Then he has 40 seconds left and neither tantrum has resulted in the spontaneous generation of grapefruit, so he throws some second-tier fruit in his basket and then goes on the other side of the bar and starts screaming that everyone is against him. Then we realize that Seth needs Thorazine. Thorazine might help him. Or, obviously, grapefruit. His hetero friend Morgan, who is probably regretting his choice in allies, points out he's being an asshole, but Seth doesn't care: He needs grapefruit, he needs to win $100,000 because the bookies are after him, and he misses his mom. Everyone takes two more steps sideways, but they run into walls and can't go any further.

Back in Top Chef (Just Desserts) kitchen everyone tries to cook while Seth gets some emergency gestalt therapy. Seth has recovered well enough to be allowed to play with others and liquid nitrogen and knives. Everyone is cooking up a storm and concocting cakes with cocktails. Tim is boldly putting in a whole head of basil to his Plantation Rum inspired desert. Head Judge and pastry demi-god Johnny Iuzzini saunters into the kitchen to shouts of "Johnneeeeeee!" when clearly he should pop his head between the kitchen doors and growl, "Here's Johnny!" Maybe he saves that for home. But there is no doubt that demonic possession would at least give him more of a personality than we have seen from him thus far. And doesn't it seem only fair that someone with potentially interesting hair should have a better personality? After each of the most pertinent conversations, we cut to Johnny in the hallway giving his two cents, which are really more like one cent because his thoughts are not that interesting: Tim has a great palate, Yigit needs to manage time. He heads in to see Seth, approaching his station warily with men in white suits standing close by, tasers ready.

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Top Chef Just Desserts

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