Top Chef Just Desserts
Episode 2

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
"The Red Hots are for My Mommy!"

Unfortunately the judges don't like it because it is too sugary and not enough agar agar or something. Heather H. made a White Russian-inspired dessert that inspires no comments from the judges. In the kitchen, Seth makes [more] an ass of himself by destroying Zac's chocolate squares [it was an accident, he swears! Wait, no, it wasn't him at all!] and then getting in Zac's way to the extent that Zac fails to tuile one dessert. One dessert that, of course, ends up in front of Gail. Who takes it personally and before anyone can stop her is wandering the Moors in her wedding dress moaning, "Where's my tuile? Where's my tuile?" Zac tries to recover by introducing his dish as a Benedictine bomb, which sounds like a terrorist act but look delicious. The tuile had tarragon in it, but he doesn't want to talk about it. And neither does Gail. Tim has made a basil pudding with lime granita and kumquats. The judges like Zac's dessert but compare Tim's pudding to eating scrambled eggs in soup.

The contestants sulk in the Stew Room until Gail comes in and asks to see Erica, Yigit, and Eric. Seth aims to support his fellow chefs by claiming Eric's dessert was not Bottom Three material, but ends up feeling sorry for himself and inviting everyone to suck his lollipop. Or that's what I imagine he said because they bleeped it. No one looks eager to take him up on the offer. At the Judges' Table Gail asks everyone how her hair looks and when they pinkyswear she looks super pretty she tells them that they had the best three desserts. Everyone looks extremely happy and Yigit almost hyperventilates while Eric honks like an asthmatic goose. Gail recommends they all shut up so the judges can talk now.

Everyone loved Erica's salty tequila-y bombe and loved Eric's homely bourbon cake and Yigit's delicate negroni concoction. Erica wins, though, because it was both pretty and cocktail-y. She is mighty pleased with her win, but when Gail tells her that she has to tell Seth that he lost, her joy is short lived. She puts on protective headgear and a cup even though she's a girl and heads into the Stew Room to deliver the bad news: Seth, Malika, and Tim are all losers. Seth has been heavily sedated in preparation for this eventuality so he is relatively calm when he receives the news.

The judges start with Tim's bowl of basil pudding sadness. Tim agrees that it wasn't a top dish. All eyes turn to Seth, who tries to impale himself on a chunk of blue cake, but it is quickly removed from his hand and he is shot full of downers. Again. He explains that he failed the judges, failed himself, failed his mother, and failed the Pastry Arts at large with his blueberry rum foam thing that's why he tried to do the only honorable thing: dessert seppuku. The judges role their eyes and asks him if he is going to have a meltdown every single episode because that would either be great for ratings (a la Teresa Giudice) or terrible for ratings (a la Kelly Bensimon). Seth shrugs because he is too doped up to know for sure, but he probably will have more breakdowns, but if he promises to make them entertaining, can he stay?

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Top Chef Just Desserts

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