Top Chef Just Desserts
Finale

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The Big Finale

Welcome back to Top Chef: Just Desserts, where we have finally reached the big finale where Sally, Chris and the guy whose name I still can't remember even though I have been staring at him for weeks. Let me go look it up, again. Okay, it's Matthew. Hi Matthew! Nice to meet you, buy some charisma to go with your gravy foam. At the start of the show we are regaled with tales of the chefs reminding us how much they want to win Top Chef. The only one with the really compelling argument is Chris: He wants to win to justify being away from his very very understanding wife for the length of the competition despite the fact that they have an infant daughter with a hole in her heart. He should win based on that, because otherwise I think his wife might kill him? Let's get to the competition to see if any of these chefs' dreams will come true.

In the GE Monogram Top Chef kitchen, Gail and Judge Johnny Iuzzini await the cheftestants to lay out the final elimination challenge. It's pretty simple: Cook one of everything. In this case everything means: A showpiece, an entremet cake, a bread, bon bons and something "special." Pray tell what is something "special" in light of the competition? Johnny explains that he made his mom's last birthday cake. That's right her LAST birthday cake. The last one before she died. Johnny chokes up as he tells us the sad tale. He then tasks them to make a dessert for the special person in their life. He doesn't say outright, but clearly what he means is kill someone, make it look like a tragic accident, and then dedicate a cake to them. It's the only way to make it really meaningful. Be sure to make a dessert that will mix well with the salty tears of the judges, okay?

Speaking of the judges, Gail introduces the "special" guest who will judge their "special desserts. In walks a chunky white dude: It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man! Can you imagine having to cook for him? The pressure! In reality though, it is three middle aged white guys with French accents that apparently are named Stephane Treand, Jacques Torres and Sebastien Trannone. Not being dead inside (yet!) I know who Jacques Torres is -- I mean, the man gave us chocolate covered Cheerios and wicked hot chocolate and makes one of the meanest chocolate chip cookies this side of the Atlantic. Not bad for a French dude who probably never ate a Cheerio in his life, right? Gail explains that the chefs all have the prestigious title of MLF, which is a super "special" award you can only win in France, so it's extra "special." The one thing Gail (or anyone) doesn't tell us is what the heck MLF is. I mean, it sounds like some Twitter acronym for something untoward you'd do to someone's mother. The chefs are all too busy gawping at the white guys (a good middle aged white guy ispretty hard to come by) to explain who the heck they are, but Gail tells them that they can use the illustrious chefs as advisors and mentors as they prep for the final challenge.

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Top Chef Just Desserts

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