The losers trudge in and form a little threesome of sorrow. Danielle isn't sure why she's there so the judges explain that her sable was too thick. I don't really know what that means, so I'll just guess that they thought putting a wild ferret in her tart was just one step too far. Jacques Torres points out that the dessert was not popping, which is apparently a bad thing. More Pop Rocks! Tania knew her pastry hummus was a tough sell and the judges didn't buy it. Morgan mumbles something about hoping the judges had gone blind and wouldn't notice his flan had separated. Also that he is from Texas and he had to go big or go home. Go Lions! Gail sends them back to the Stew Room to think about what they've done.

The judges deliberate the chefs' many many flaws. Morgan forced Gail to eat fried food in public and served a sub par flan. Also, not enough chocolate. Tania had plenty of time to make her mousse the right way and her dessert was too timid. Danielle was overly defensive about her sable. Then the judges know what they need to do. They call the judges back in. Judge Johnny delivers the verdicts: Morgan spread himself too thin; Danielle didn't think her dessert through, and Tania's mousse was nasty. Gail proudly announces this season's tag line: Tania, your dessert just didn't measure up. Please pack your tools and go. And she goes. In a flood of tears and a sprinkling of sugar. Never to bake again.

Melissa Locker a.k.a. Lulu Bates needs a fucking cookie. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.

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