Top Chef Just Desserts

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Hello Nasty

Between all of the shots of the chefs cooking are shots of the chefs recounting their love of the Beastie Boys. However it seems like only Rebecca and maybe Matthew and to a lesser extent Megan actually ever listened to the music. Carlos has no clue who the guy is or why he has to cook desserts based on their songs. Then Orlando gets tipsy as he works on a rum, coffee, cream, and pea dessert, but it's not at all interesting or dramatic and he doesn't, like, start singing Beasties lyrics about doing it with a Whiffle Ball bat or barfing on Katzie or anything. Sally is frying chicken and Katzie is adding provolone to white chocolate and Rebecca is adding the flavors of falafel to panna cotta. It's all pretty gag inducing and you start to feel pretty bad for the "street art" festival that is going to have to eat this compost pile. And I don't mean compost pile in the sense of compost cookies, which are a delicious blend of potato chips, chocolate, butterscotch, coffee grounds, and magic. No, this stuff is just going to be nasty.

Later, the chefs are recovering at home and we find out that Chris has a one-month old daughter with a congenital heart defect and is facing surgery in a few months... and yet he's here. I mean, no judgment. Okay, a little judgment. Anyway you know they are only telling us this information now because when he wins the challenge and maybe all of Top Chef: Just Desserts his Big Decision to leave his wife at home with a newborn with a heart defect will be 100% Completely Justified. Right? RIGHT? Also, Matthew has a daughter who he publicly declares was "an accident," which means he should probably put all Top Chef: Just Desserts earning directly into her therapy fund. Boundaries, people.

The day of the competition the chefs set up their stations in the street art fest. Guests are tagging the tables, because they are rebels? Idiots? Banksy? Obviously Katzie's sweet pomme frites station immediately has a line, because she is frying things and wrapping up each order in an adorable cone. When will these people learn? Don't fry food for events! It never works! Then Chef Marcel shows up and he is "close personal friends" with Sally, because why not, right? Finally the judges arrive in their most rock and roll finery. Except Gail, who is wearing a J.C.Penney dress and heels. See what I mean? There's no rock in that girl at all. They head to Carlos' table first, where they are greeted with popcorn panna cotta, spicy cucumber "air," bacon caramel, and popcorn glass. It actually looks pretty and that it might taste good. Maybe. Except for the spicy cucumber air which probably tastes like hot yarf. Ad-Rock really likes it, but unfortunately Carlos is clearly not a fan of the Beasties and couldn't care less. Orlando made a parfait of coffee, strawberry and rum with green peas just sitting on top along with a store-bought cookie, which he did dip in chocolate but should still be busted for, because since when are you allowed to add store-bought cookies as garnishes? Ad-Rock is not impressed, because even he could buy a cookie. Megan made a Chivas whiskey pudding cake with Brass Monkey sorbet and carmelized onion. Ad-Rock is pretty excited/scared about the Brass Monkey sorbet. Judge Johnny doesn't give a shit how interesting and creative it was. He just wants to know why his goddamn cake fell apart. Megan almost starts crying, because she is a girl and that is what almost all the girls on this show do this season. Guess she's feeling funky thinking she's gonna go home for some Brass Monkey. Sally made a take on a sticky toffee cake with the addition of prosciutto (gag) with toffee sauce, cheddar ice cream and chicharrĂ³n chicken skin. Guess what? Apparently chicken skin tastes like chicken.

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Top Chef Just Desserts




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