Top Chef Just Desserts

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Hello Nasty

Katzie is next with her sweet pomme frites with sweet and savory sauces. Judge Johnny thinks it's too salty AND too sweet and Gail thought the flavors weren't intense enough. Rebecca gets Ad-Rock to sign her cast, which is cute. But then she goes all Marcia Brady meets the Monkees and is never throwing her cast away, which is scary. It's not as scary as her dessert, though, which is a falafel panna cotta with ham pecan brittle and 40 oz ice cream. Johnny thought it was garlicky, which is not something you ever want to hear about a dessert. Chris made a pork and bean brownie with pine nut cream and naked ravioli tomato stick. Is this dessert just a cry for help? Does he really want to go home to his daughter? Gail's verdict, "Totally weird." Speaking of totally weird, Johnny complains that he doesn't get enough pork and bean flavor in the brownie. Does Judge Johnny hate his mouth? Matthew made a cornbread and mashed potato cheesecake with whiskey caramel and gravy foam. They call the gravy hilarious. Johnny notes that you can taste all the pantry ingredients. Then, since Marcel is lurking around looking for screen time, the producers decide to make him talk to every chef. Then Carlos comes up and puts a banana on Marcel's shoulder? Because apparently they have a game where they try and put a banana on someone without them noticing? It's kind of endearingly doofy? Then Marcel tries to play and puts a banana on Johnny and gets totally busted and that is actually funny.

Judgment Time: Katzie, Megan and Rebecca are called in first and everyone in the stew room starts, well, stewing. It's funny to see Ad-Rock staring at the chefs and waiting to cast judgment on them. Like, whatever dude, you started it with your weird predilection for Brass Monkey and canned ravioli. Who are you to sit in judgment? Since it was Megan, Katzie, and Rebecca who were called in first, you know something is up and sure enough, Gail announces that they had the least favorite "desserts" of the evening. The girls blink, because you see what Gail did there? She let them think they were winners, when really they were losers. That's not very Buddhist, Ad-Rock! What would the Dalai Lama think, eh? Rebecca starts crying because she is getting sent home over falafel, beer and ham when she is a goddamn pastry chef. Also it really has to suck to be reduced to tears by Gail Simmons in front of your rock idol. Rebecca swears to Ad-Rock that she is a great pastry chef and not really a cry baby and he can take his autograph back if he wants to. Megan is grilled for her dry cake and carmelized onions. Ad-Rock thinks she should have put them in the cake as if dry carmelized onion pudding cake is any less revolting. Katzie shrugs that she took a risk and it didn't pan out. The judges think she made too many condiments, which is a weird complaint when a better complaint would be: YOU MADE FRENCH FRIES FOR A DESSERT CHALLENGE. Gail tells them to send in Matthew, Chris and Sally, their actual favorites. That's right they like the pork and bean brownie better than they liked Rebecca's beer ice cream. Ad-Rock apologizes to the winners for the pork and beans and chicken, when clearly the losers could have used a hug. Judge Johnny liked that Chris sabotaged himself before anyone else could. Johnny really liked or maybe "liked" Matthew's cheesecake with gravy foam. Matthew is selected as the winner, much to his surprise. He thanks Chris for the attempted mashed potatoes and gravy sabotage. As the winners leave, the judges turn to the task of determining a loser. Most surprising thing is that Orlando totally skated by on his store-bought brownie and frozen peas. Ad-Rock thinks Katzie's French fries and dipping sauce was lame sauce and that Becky's dessert was hello, nasty. Megan's dish did not have enough Chivas and the onion didn't make any sense. The judges come to their decision and call the losers back in. And then the whole thing about Rebecca saying she can't cook gets thrown in her face AGAIN and she is finally sent home. She comes into the stew room and announces that she and Ad-Rock are going to elope and she's going on her honeymoon. Which is adorable and makes me think we ddn't see enough of her on this show and she is leaving too soon! Not really. Rebecca still loves the Beastie Boys, but kind of hates falafel. So say we all.

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Top Chef Just Desserts




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